Beyond the Abyss
by PinkAngel17
Summary: Written for NaNo 2013. An away mission takes a turn for the worse, leaving the Captain and five crewmembers disconnected from Voyager. Set after 'Repression' with a very light dash of J/C.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I obviously do not in any way own Star Trek: Voyager or any of the familiar characters.

A/N: This was written for NaNo 2014.

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><p><em>"Captain<em> _to the_ _bridge."_

Janeway closed her eyes for a brief second when Tuvok's stoic voiced filled her ready room. She was under no delusion as to what his summons meant. She had in fact been waiting the last several hours for this call to come. What had only a few hours ago seemed to take forever now seemed to have flown by at warp speeds that would give _Voyager_ a run for its money. With a glance at the stars outside she noticed they were going by at a much slower pace now. Tom had obviously slowed recently as they awaited her arrival and therefore further orders as well. Her entire frame seemed tense as she stood and, in a manner as stoic as Tuvok's voice, made her way out of her ready room.

The bridge was silent upon her arrival. The only sounds that could be heard was the usual dull buzz of the engines vibrating through the deck paneling and the soft beeping of the consoles as the crew worked away. The lack of joking, banter, or daily conversations made the ship seem so much more silent though and the anticipation could be felt in the recycled air as if they were all waiting with baited breath for a pin to drop and break the silence.

It was no secret that she was the pin in this instance. They were waiting, each and every one of them, for her to give the order that everyone already knew she would give. Her decision, like that pin dropping, was no secret. In the back of her mind she reminded herself that it wasn't just her decision. She had discussed it thoroughly with the senior staff and they all agreed it was the only viable option.

After all, how bad could it really be? She almost didn't want to bother asking that question even to herself. "Is this it?" she asked instead, more or less unnecessarily considering.

Chakotay stood from his chair as she approached and for a brief moment their eyes met before they both looked away. She continued past him and rooted herself in the middle of the bridge, her arms crossing automatically over her chest as she gazed at the viewscreen and the mass of swirling colors dancing amongst the darkness of space like a gentle morning fog. It reminded her distinctly of the Kolyan Kolyar in Devore space.

She felt more than saw Chakotay step up behind her. "Yes, Captain." His tone was calm, but she could feel, or perhaps sense, the tension in his muscles as his arm grazed her shoulder when he took another step forward to stand at her side.

The simple and beautiful view before them was deceivingly foreboding. Beyond that aurora like phenomenon was an expanse of danger, like a welcome mat that Death itself had set out as a way to lure in some company in the inky dark abode. The scientific curiosity in her was enthralled by the unknown laying before them. The responsible captain, the part of her that had gradually overshadowed her curiosity over these last few years, made her apprehension and wariness increase tenfold.

She was responsible for these people and she had failed them before. She couldn't allow that to happen again. As she studied the makeshift border just a few more light years before them she remembered the conversation with the Ofttar trader two weeks ago...

_"I feel I should warn you though, Captain Janeway...," the trade specialist began as Tuvok oversaw the supplies being beamed aboard. He was a high-spirited fellow, albeit a bit sly with a tendency of stinginess. Overall she had discovered his greatest thrill in life seemed to come from wheeling and dealing. She'd seen that spark of challenge in the eyes of others before. She herself had recognized it in herself a time or two._

_"About what, exactly, Mr. Grefftus?"_

_The humanoid, who was no taller than her, leaned in closer and_ _lowered his voice as if to impart a secret. His breath was a bit putrid, no doubt due to the moldy green drink he was constantly sipping, and it took all her well-honed will power not to pull away._

_"The Mawr_ _Anga."_

_Her forehead creased as she frowned._ _The universal translator didn't seem to be able to translate the phrase. "The Mawr Anga?"  
><em>

_Grefftus winced and looked around as if searching for any of the passersby of the station who might have heard. "Shhh," he said, and for the first time she was presented with physical proof that he was capable of frowning. "Careful, Captain. The Mawr Anga is something that inspires great fear in many people of this sector. It's not something we speak much about. There are very few visitors from outside the sector that come by here, you see...so most people are already familiar with it. You and your crew though...you're not from around here, so I feel you should be warned about what lay ahead if you continue."_

_"You haven't yet told me what it is, Grefftus."_

_"It's danger, Captain. Danger with no way out. Many ships go in, but few return. The expanse is littered with storms, phenomena like you've never seen, and some say there are even monsters living amongst the stars themselves."_

_She arched an eyebrow, not quite believing him. So far it all sounded like misplaced fear set around some sort of legend. A rumor with no basis of fact. Compared to what the_ _crew had just recently faced she doubted it would be that much of an obstacle._

_"I've seen it, Captain," Grefftus continued after apparently picking up on her disbelief. "Not all the way inside, exactly, but I've seen first-hand a ship who did manage to escape. It was barely habitable and limping along like a wounded Reanic beast."  
><em>

_Janeway had to admit that many rumors were based on some grain of truth somewhere along the line. Besides which, Grefftus may be crafty, but he had yet to outright lie to her. Even if there wasn't a 'monster' the prospect of spatial storms could be an adherence to Voyager who had so recently emerged from yet another fiasco._

_"How far does this expanse extend?"_

_Grefftus shook his head, his bushy gray hair flying around like weeds in a hurricane. "Too far. To go around it you would have to travel two of your years out of your way. To go through it you might make it in a month. Theoretically."_

_"Theoretically?"  
><em>

_"I told you, Captain, not many have escaped. There's very little known about the area really."  
><em>

_She nodded even as her hope continued to wither. Which it seemed to_ be _doing more and more frequently lately. How many expanses, voids, and bleak undertakings could the crew withstand? They were already traversing a thin line as it was._

_"If you'd prefer to stay I can set you up with a lovely fertile plot of land on Sanik IV that's..."_

That had been the last time she'd talked with Grefftus, but his warning still rang clearly in her ears as if he were standing right beside her. "Sensor readings?" she requested, walking to the helm and laying a hand on Tom's shoulder out of habit.

The pilot glanced up at her and for the millisecond that their eyes met she saw the same concerned look in his eyes that she herself was unwilling to show. There was also a hint of knowing behind that look. He like the rest of the crew was already well aware of what order she'd soon give. She had the distinct impression he had known what she'd choose to do before she herself had been sure.

"Grefftus was right, Captain," Harry Kim reported from behind her. "The sensors are picking up a magnetic eddy and plasma storms." He paused for a moment as he reviewed the data. "The readings are similar to those of the Badlands."

"Any signs of other ships?" _Or monsters_, she added silently.

"No, ma'am, but…"

"But?"

"There's interference. The sensors can't seem to get clear readings past two light-years."

And so it begins.

It was either face the unknown or spend two extra years that they couldn't afford to sacrifice. The choice was simple and yet held a complexity that she wasn't about to dwell on at that very moment.

"Alright, Mr. Paris," she said, giving the pilot's shoulder a squeeze before turning and heading back to the center of the bridge. Once again she met Chakotay's eyes for a brief second before he averted his watchful gaze. "Take us in."

"Yes, ma'am," Tom replied as his fingers began dancing across the console.

It might not be so bad, Kathryn told herself, they might make it through without a hitch. How many expanses could they traverse that wanted them dead? At some point the universe had to give them a break.

"How long until we reach the border?"

Ever prompt Tuvok answered first. "Approximately two hours and five minutes, Captain."

"I'll be in my ready room." Turning she retraced the path back to her ready room. "Notify me when we get there."


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: Nope, still don't own it.

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><p>It was late when Kathryn stepped into the messhall. Most of the crew had already had dinner and where turning in for the night. The three or four crewmembers scattered around were just getting ready to check in for gamma shift. Their already hushed talking seemed to grow even softer when she entered.<p>

For a moment as she continued undeterred to the galley she felt their eyes on her. She knew from experience over the last couple weeks that if she looked they would just go back to whatever they were doing as if they hadn't been watching her. Just like Chakotay had been doing lately as well.

She wished she knew how much longer this was going to last. If she did she might just take an extended leave until it blew over. No one could deny she could use a vacation anyways. She nearly scoffed at the thought. There was no way she would be taking a vacation anytime soon.

As she approached the counter the sound of Neelix working became more pronounced until she wondered if he was using the pots and pans as drums just to test how loud he could really be. She didn't see him at first which, considering the kitchen wasn't that big and therefore didn't have that many places for him to hide, slightly surprised her.

"Neelix?"

There was a dull thud and then the talaxian's head popped up over the stove. She had obviously startled him. "Captain," he greeted while rubbing the top of his head where she assumed he had bumped it. A grin spread over his face as he moved around the corner and came to stand facing her at the counter. "I'm so glad you're here!"

"Oh?" She couldn't think of a reason why he'd be so happy to see her. Unless his noise making had something to do with a new recipe and he wanted her to try it. In which case she would have to start thinking of an excuse to make a prompt departure.

"I was worried you wouldn't come by," he answered, though it still didn't really help her understand, as he began putting a plate of food together for her. "You didn't come for lunch and the Commander said you were in your ready room most of the day and then you missed the dinner rush and so I...," he trailed off for a moment, his face darkening a fraction in a fashion reminiscent of a blush as if he realized he were rambling. "Well, I wasn't sure if you'd be by or not."

A small smile crept its way onto her face as she listened to his reasoning. "You were worried about me, Neelix?"

"Well, yes, I guess I was," he admitted, returning her smile. He walked around the counter, her tray of food in one hand, and gently put his free hand on her shoulder as he led her to a table. "You didn't stop by yesterday for your morning coffee either. Between that and not showing up for your usual mealtimes...," he trailed off again, but she knew what he was implying. He had been worried that she hadn't been eating.

It wasn't the food she was avoiding though. It was the eyes. Very rarely, if ever, had the scrutiny of her crew bothered her. This scrutiny was different though. They weren't watching to see her motivations, or wondering if she'd lost her mind, or even sizing her up as if they were unsure whether to trust her or not. Instead it was an awkward gaze that always seemed to follow her. She'd even caught a sympathetic glance ones or twice these last few weeks.

Neelix pulled out a chair for her and she sat down. In doing so her eyes flickered over at the two crewmen, both former maquis she noted, who hadn't looked away since she'd come in. When they caught her looking they averted their stares and went back to their hushed conversation though. Just like usual.

The smile slipped from her face and she turned her full attention to the suddenly unappetizing tray of food in front of her. As Neelix slid into the chair opposite her she picked up a fork and pushed a few strands of pasta around on her plate.

"Have you noticed anything a bit off with the crew lately?"

Neelix's eyes darted to the two crewman on her right and then to the group of three personnel somewhere behind her. He gave her a gentle and sympathetic smile before answering. "They're just not sure how to act yet, Captain. It's not every day you take your fellow crewmembers prisoner and try to take over the ship."

"Try?" She scoffed and rolled her eyes. "They _did_ take over the ship."

"I suppose they did," Neelix murmured, subconsciously rubbing his lower left arm where crewman Dalby had left bruises with his iron tight grip a couple of weeks previously. He snapped out of his thoughtful trance a second later. "They feel bad about it, Captain. They hurt, both emotionally and physically, their friends against their own will."

"I know they feel bad about it, but there's no need for them to. It wasn't their fault," she added softly, looking back down at her plate with a thoughtful look of her own. If it was anyone's fault it was her own. They couldn't be blamed for what they had no control over.

"They also...," Neelix paused as if trying to decide whether or not to continue. "They aren't sure how you feel about them now. They feel they betrayed you and so some of them...some of them think you might not trust them anymore."

"Of course I trust them. It wasn't their fault and I couldn't possibly hold them responsible."

"I know that, Captain, but some of them just need more time to realize that too. It's not just you they're uncomfortable around either I promise. It's gotten better, but that first week or so after it happened there was a mass amount of unease between the former maquis and the original Starfleet. It's gotten better though and I think eventually the rest of the wounds will heal as well."

She hoped he was right. Otherwise she might just take that vacation after all.

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><p>The next morning Kathryn made a point to stop by the messhall for her usual cup of coffee, much to the pleasure of Neelix who instantly poured her a steaming hot cup of fresh coffee. It was a few hours later, after the daily Security report from Tuvok, that she made her way down to Astrometrics.<p>

Seven was, as Kathryn expected, working diligently at the main console. These last few days she hadn't seen as much of the younger woman as she usually would. Their weekly velocity game had been put on hold thanks to the possible impending threat of the Mawr Anga. Even without everyone's preoccupation she wasn't sure if she would have had enough energy to make the game even remotely interesting anyways. Much of both of their time had been spent getting the ship ready as a precaution. B'Elanna had perhaps been the busiest of them all though.

"Seven," she greeted upon walking up to the console. "What have you got for me?"

The former borg turned briefly to face her and for a moment Seven refrained from answering as she looked the Captain over. With an arched eyebrow she returned to studying the data readings though after a few mere seconds. "A plasma storm roughly two light years from our present location. I have notified Lieutenant Paris so he may avoid it."

Kathryn nodded in acknowledgment. "Anything else?"

"Yes. I am attempting to plot all the anomalies, but they are proving to be unpredictable. For instance...Sensors picked up a region of relative calmness ten light years away," she began and, with a few taps of the console, she pulled up a map on the large viewscreen.

It was obviously a rough estimate of the region seeing as how the sensors readings were still unclear, but even with what they knew for sure the area looked like a picture right out of the dictionary for the term 'navigational hazard'. Already there were three plasma storms within a fifteen light year radius, a meteor field that might just be the largest she'd ever encountered, and what appeared to be polaric radiation readings at the very edge of the radius.

Seven pointed to a small area just outside the meteor field and then magnified that particular spot of the map. "As you can see there is no obvious phenomena that would pose a disturbance. I was therefore going to recommend using it as a flight path, however half an hour ago the readings abruptly changed without warning." Seven tapped the controls once more and the image changed.

Kathryn leaned closer as she studied the small swirling dot. "Is that what I think it is..."

"It is a particle fountain," Seven answered as she too studied the representation. "There is very little known about such occurrences, even amongst the borg."

"They're exceedingly dangerous," she pointed out. "And there was no previous signs that it could pop up?"

"None that I was able to detect."

Kathryn nodded thoughtful. "Good work catching it, Seven. If anything else comes up contact me immediately."

"Yes, Captain. I shall keep you updated." The former borg's piercing eyes studied her once more before she could leave. "Captain, it might be prudent for you rest. You appear to be quite tired."

'_That's probably because I've barely slept in days_,' Kathryn thought dryly. "I'm fine, Seven, but thank you for the concern," she answered out loud with a meager smile. She put a hand on the younger woman's shoulder and gave it a light squeeze in passing.

As she moved towards the exit the doors slid opened, allowing Tal Celes to enter. She noticed the young bajoran's tired eyes instantly. Celes however only noticed her presence after a delay and then smiled, albeit tiredly, as they passed each other and Kathryn made a mental note to speak with Seven about how much she was pushing the girl.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: No, still don't own it.

A/N: With this chapter we start getting into a bit more of the plot.

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><p><em>Silence. It reminded her of the starless void. Just as easily as the memory came the desolate feelings followed. How was that possible after so long? Weren't wounds supposed to heal and scars fade? What made hers so special that they lingered this long?<em>

_"How much longer can we do this?" The question was met by more silence. A meditation candle flickered in the viewport of Tuvok's quarters even though the tactical officer was nowhere to be seen. Why were they in his quarters anyways? It didn't quite make sense._

_"We'll do it for as long as you make us."_

_The rough voice was laced with a long simmering hatred that surprised her. Frowning she turned to look at the only other person in the living area. Chakotay was watching her, his eyes haunted, as he bore holes into her skull. "Excuse me?"_

_"You heard me, Captain," he answered, practically spitting out her title. "We're still in this quadrant because of you. You and your Starfleet ideals and precious morals that make you so much better than the rest of us."_

_She'd never seen Chakotay like this before. He was being deliberately spiteful. "Chakotay, I've only done what I've had to do. You know that."_

_"Did you have to nearly scare Lessing to death? Was there someone forcing you at phaser point to destroy the array? Did you really think Kashyk was such a good guy that he deserved your infatuation?"_

_With each word his voice dripped with accusation and sarcasm. By the end he was suddenly looming over her. She stood steady and glared up at him, all the time wondering when he'd grown so tall and so...hurtful._

_"I did what needed to be done. I won't change it. I...can't change it," she added slightly more softly._

_Chakotay scoffed and looked at her in disgust. "I'm beginning to wonder if you don't just like causing us pain." Almost as suddenly as he turned on her his face broke into a dark grin. His dimples weren't nearly as alluring anymore. "I think it's time you stepped down, Kathryn. It's time for new leadership on this ship."_

_No. Not again._

_Her eyes widened and she tensed to the point of muscle strain. Before she could deliver a rebuke the door slid opened though and in stormed a swarm of crewmembers dressed in maquis garb. They surrounded her, their faces the picture of venom. As they flanked her, grabbing her arms and pulling her away, Tuvok's face came into view._

_"Perhaps you should simply go with them, Captain. It might prove to hurt less."_

_The sound of Chakotay's laughter was drowned out by the racing of her own heart as it pounded in her ears._

_Within a heartbeat the brig loomed closer. And closer. And closer until..._

"_Bridge to Captain Janeway_."

Kathryn shot up in bed, her heart pounding fiercely in her chest, with a light sheen of sweat along her hairline. She was in her quarters, laying in her bed, and she was alone. There was no Chakotay, no Tuvok, and no mutiny. Just her own darkened quarters and the stars shinning outside the viewport.

Her commbadge beeped. "_Bridge to Captain Janeway_."

She reached for the device as she rubbed the last of the sleep from her eyes. "Janeway here. What's wrong?"

Before Tuvok could reply a vibration coursed through the ship, causing it to shake violently for a moment. She was definitely awake now. "Never mind. I'm on my way," she added while jumping out of bed and grabbing her uniform to quickly throw on.

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><p>Janeway marched onto the bridge, any sign of her unsettling night gone. "Report."<p>

"It's that plasma storm we were trying to go around, Captain," Harry began and just as he did Chakotay walked out of the lift.

With a quick glance back at her First Officer, Kathryn noted his slightly disheveled uniform as if it'd been either thrown on in a second's notice or he'd been sleeping in it. He gave her a curt nod and walked around to stand by his chair.

"It's spitting energetic particles at us, Captain," Tom added without diverting his attention from his console. Judging by the wrinkle on his shoulder she guessed he too had gotten an abrupt wake up call.

"From this far away?" She walked over to Tuvok's station and looked at the sensor readings while he adjusted the shield harmonics.

"Looks like they're being carried via a particle wave," Harry answered. "I've never seen one extend this far though."

As if on cue the ship shook again. Kathryn held onto the Security console firmly to keep from being tossed to the deck. "Shields?"

"Down to fifty percent," Tuvok reported.

"Get us out of here, Tom."

"I'm trying! But I can't even find a safe route." Tom was fully focused on his task even as the ship rocked underneath them again. "The sensors aren't helping any."

"Harry..."

"I'm trying, Captain, but the plasma storm is making it nearly impossible."

Another energetic particle wave hit the ship, this one even more forceful than the last few. Kathryn watched as Chakotay stumbled from where he was looking down at the console between their chairs. He managed to keep himself upright by holding onto the railing and then carefully maneuvered into his chair, his hands grasping the armrests just as she was holding onto the console. Elsewhere around the bridge sparks were jumping out of terminals and lighting the air.

"Shields holding at forty-eight percent," Tuvok called over the chaos.

The rumbling and shaking seemed to last for a full minute, at least. As it finally died down she quickly cast a look around the bridge to check for wounded. There were none that she could see, though there was plenty of wayward hair and a couple of smoking consoles.

"I got it!" Tom exclaimed and she could practically hear the grin in his voice. "We're out, Captain."

"Good work, Tom. Damages?" She asked while running a hand through her own messy hair and stepping down to the center of the bridge.

"An EPS conduit ruptured on deck three and caused a plasma fire," Chakotay reported as he reviewed the readouts on the middle console between the seats. "A security detail has contained it and an Engineering team is repairing the damage."

"There's some minor hull damage and it looks like the transporters are offline," Harry continued.

"_Engineering to the Captain_."

Janeway closed her eyes for a moment at the foreboding sound of B'Elanna's voice while a knot formed in her stomach. "Go ahead, Lieutenant."

"_We have a problem_."


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: If I owned it I wouldn't need a disclaimer.

A/N: Sorry for the wait. Here you go...

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><p>The most optimistic thought she could currently conjure up was that no one had died. The ship was damaged, but there had fortunately been no fatalities, only a few bumps and bruises. In her book that was a positive on any day. On a day like today, in a situation they now found themselves in, it might as well be the closest thing to a victory they'd probably have for a long while.<p>

The dilithium crystals had burned out. Without dilithium the warp core failed to operate. Without the warp core they were crawling along, basically stuck, in this expanse for the foreseeable future. Not only would that mean the probability of their reaching the Alpha Quadrant was slim, at best, it was also considerably dangerous given the unpredictable nature of the phenomena in the area.

Janeway slowly paced back and forth in-between the viewport and the briefing room table, arms crossed, and with a thoughtful expression. "Can the dilithium be recrystallized?"

B'Elanna shook her head from her seat at the table. "They're too far gone for that. If we had enough polyferranide I might be able to seal the warp coils to prevent them from burning out long enough for us to find some dilithium, but we barely have enough left to make it last two days. Three tops if we really push it."

"So we need to find either polyferranide or dilithium deposits," she summarized and pulled out her chair to sit down.

"Or preferably both," B'Elanna added. "It might be a good idea to seal the warp coils even with fresh dilithium as a precaution in case we fly into anything else." When she finished she shot Tom a pointed look.

The pilot opened his mouth to defend himself, but Janeway cut him off before he could. "Finding either could be a problem out here," she pointed out, mostly to herself.

"That may not be completely accurate."

"You have an idea, Seven?"

"Since Lieutenant Paris was able to navigate us to a relatively calm region of space I was able to perform a more conclusive scan of the region."

"And?" Tom prodded. "Don't keep us in suspense here, Seven."

"I was able to locate an uninhabited M-class planet approximately 1.46 light years from our current location. Sensors indicate it rich with various raw mineral deposits. I cannot be certain at this point, but I believe there to be dilithium present."

Tom grinned, Harry blew out a long breath, and the general feeling in the room was one of relief. It wasn't much, but even the sliver of light at a fork in the dark tunnel was enough to lift some of the weight off their shoulders.

"We might just have found our answers," she said with a crooked half-smile. "Tom, get the coordinates from Seven and set a course. The safest course possible preferably. B'Elanna get those coils sealed as well as you can and then let Tom know so we can get going."

"We won't be able to go more than warp three," B'Elanna said as they all began to stand.

"If Seven's right on the distance then we should be able to make it there in about three days," Chakotay added after doing some quick mental math.

Seven arched an eyebrow. "My calculations are correct."

B'Elanna scoffed, but her eyes danced amusedly in a way that matched her husband's crooked grin. "It'll be close, but we should be able to make it. I can't guarantee what'll happen once we're there though if there's no resources like we need."

"At this point it looks like our best chance is to take the risk," Janeway replied. "We'll conserve energy as best we can though. Harry, see to it that all non-essential power usage is shut off. And Neelix...," she smiled lightly as she addressed the talaxian. "Looks like you're going to be doing a lot of cooking. The less replicators we use the better."

"Of course, Captain. I'm ready." Neelix returned her smile and nodded in acknowledgment.

"Alright than. Dismissed." She watched as they all turned to leave and began filling out of the room. Just before Chakotay reached the door she addressed him though. "Commander, would you mind staying for a moment. I'd like to talk with you about something."

It wasn't a request and he appeared to realize that considering he stopped and begrudgingly turned back around even though it was obvious he just wanted to leave.

"Chakotay," she began, walking around the table and slowly approaching him until there was a few feet between them. "Is there something you'd like to get off your chest?"

"Not that I can think of, Captain."

"We've barely spoken. I think whatever is going on here needs to be settled before it goes any further."

"You want to talk, Captain? Alright. Why don't we talk about your avoidance techniques?"

Kathryn frowned. She wasn't the one doing the avoiding. "I think perhaps you should ask yourself that, Commander," she said, reverting to calling him by his rank since he seemed so determined to do so. "I'm not the one with issues here."

"You can't tell me you don't feel betrayed. Even a little bit. I know you do. Just like I know you think I should I have fought Teero more."

"You couldn't have fought it, Chakotay. You were being controlled."

She didn't remember much about last night's dream anymore, but she remembered enough to know Chakotay featured prominently in it. She didn't blame Chakotay, or Tuvok for that matter, she really didn't. She couldn't help how her unconscious mind put the pieces of the experience together or what pattern it may come up with.

"But Tuvok did," he pointed out tersely. "He fought it off and you think I should have been able to as well."

"You're assuming things you know nothing about, Commander. You're starting to walk a thin line." Her voice lowered dangerously, her eyes beginning to spit fire as her irritation increased.

"It's what you feel though, isn't it?" His eyes were dark orbs with fire to match her own. In those deep brown depths she saw an equal amount of irritation and anger, but there was something else. Something...guilt? Shame? Like a piece of his spirit had broken off and was withering away.

"I think you need to reevaluate your own feelings on the subject before you start accusing me of being unreasonable," she said in a much more neutral tone.

"I never said you were unreasonable."

She arched an eyebrow. "You just implied it."

"Well than I'm sorry. I _am_ sorry, Kathryn. Whether you want to believe that or not. If I can't tell you how you feel than you can't do so with me though."

"I know you are. Or at least I thought you were," she added, watching him closely as if for the first time. She honestly wasn't sure how to see him anymore. She felt there was something different about him. She couldn't be sure if that was really true though or her own perception of it. Or maybe he was only different in how he treated her. "I think perhaps we should save this conversation for later. We're obviously not going to resolve anything as long as you're still holding onto that guilt."

Something flashed across Chakotay's expression, but it was quickly gone and he was the picture of indifference. "Whatever you want, Captain."

Without another word or backwards glance Kathryn walked around her First Officer and left the room, leaving him standing there staring out the viewport.


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: Do I really even still need a disclaimer...

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><p>It had taken just over three days to reach the planet. B'Elanna was practically spitting fire in Engineering as she battled with the engines and tried to keep the ship flying. Meanwhile Seven and Harry had been working on sensor modifications. Kathryn had gone from one to the other helping where needed, but even now the transporters still weren't fully functional and the hull damage had yet to be touched. All in all it meant very little sleep for anyone involved.<p>

Neelix was doing his best to keep morale high, but she was afraid he was fighting a losing battle. She had considered bringing the topic up with Chakotay, but between the repairs and the fact that she was half-way certain he was avoiding her they hadn't seen much of each other. In fact she'd mainly only seen him in passing and exchanged only the rudimental words with him that were necessary in their ranking positions.

As Kathryn rode the turbolift up to the bridge she wondered if perhaps she should initiate another conversation and get it over with. It was only a matter of time really before one of two things happened...They would get into another argument which would explode with both of their tempers no longer in check or the second option was that they would continue to avoid each other until the situation died down, which on the surface seemed just fine, but she knew from experience that it only meant more resentment would be carefully hidden underneath and would fester away until one of them could no longer take it and would just pull away even more.

It was what she'd come to accept as being 'them'. They worked well together, but the emotional turmoil between them often lead to less than professional consequences. She hoped that if they had another talk that they could work things out enough that neither an explosive confrontation nor a festering wound carefully concealed would be necessary. That was her hope anyways. Lately she wasn't sure how much she should rely on such things.

As she stepped off the turbolift she wasn't surprised to see Chakotay already in his designated chair. With her down in engineering or various other parts of the ship these last three days he'd spent the majority of his time on the bridge supervising things from here. She knew this because Tuvok had pointed out the XO's lack of leaving the bridge and therefore lack of rest. To which she pointed out that no one had rested so there was really nothing unusual about it.

Walking down to the center of the bridge she rubbed her neck to ease the tension in the muscles there and tried to ignore the grime she felt on her cheek that she knew really wasn't there. On the viewscreen was a medium sized planet with large masses of green and gray and the occasional blue dotting the land masses.

"Just in time, Captain," Tom said as she stood over his shoulder. "We'll be arriving in orbit in about five minutes. Give or take a nanosecond."

"Good because I don't think your wife would tolerate any longer." She was only half-joking and judging by the way Tom shifted in his seat he was well aware of that.

"I'll get us there as quickly as I possibly can without killing us."

A nanosecond later a dull vibration shot through the deck. It was nothing as strong as the ones from the plasma storm, but it wasn't natural either. Kathryn tensed and leaned over Tom's console to look at the data readings. "What was that?"

Harry was quick to give a prompt answer. "Some sort of gravitational disturbance, Captain. I'm trying to pinpoint the exact cause...," he trailed off and she moved closer to his station. "I think it might just be a naturally occurring anomaly centered around this planet. It doesn't seems to be harming us." He looked up at her before continuing. "But it could disrupt communications." Another vibration shot through the ship as they neared the planet, this one stronger than the last. "And I don't think we're going to be able to get any closer to the planet."

Kathryn very nearly threw her hands up in the air right then and there. With a sigh she turned back to the center of the bridge and slid into her chair. She imagined her aching feet were sighing in relief. "You heard him, Tom. Take us back some. There's no point putting _Voyager_ in anymore danger."

"Aye, ma'am," Tom said despondently. "Backing away."

"What about a shuttle, Harry?"

She looked over at her First Officer when he asked the question. It was the first time in almost twenty-four hours that she'd heard his voice. "He has a point. Could a shuttle make it down?"

Harry took a moment to go over the readouts and the moment he perked up and smiled she knew the answer without him saying a word. "I think we can. Maybe not the Delta Flyer, but one of the smaller ones could probably pass right through with only minor trouble."

With a satisfied smile she stood once more. "A shuttle it is. Before we get too excited let's make sure what we need is actually down there. Seven?" she asked with a tap of her commbadge. "Any signs of dilithium?"

"_I am picking up dilithium signatures in two locations. I am sending Mr. Kim the coordinates of the location I believe to be the best choice_."

Harry frowned as the data came over his console. "This is over a three hundred kilometer radius, Seven."

"_I could not pinpoint a more exact location due to the sensor distortions. This general location has an abundance of rich mineral readings however. We therefore may be able to find other useful materials for Lieutenant Torres."_

Tuvok it seemed already had a solution. "A tricorder could be programmed to pinpoint and trace the exact location from the planet's surface."

"Alright than, let's get to work. I'll lead the away team," she stated and immediately became on the receiving end of Tuvok's arched eyebrow. Chakotay looked up sharply, his forehead creased in a frown, but instead of protesting as she expected he remained silent and looked back down at the PADD in his hands.

She pushed down the trace amount of disappointment she felt and turned to the helm. "Mr. Paris, care to accompany me?"

Tom swiveled in his chair and graced her with his patented crooked grin. "Yes, ma'am. I'll be there with bells on."

"How about we skip the bells this time and just go with the standard uniform."

Tom feigned a look of disappointment that was belied by the glint of amusement in his eyes. "Whatever you say, Captain."

With her own amused half-smile she turned and made her way to the lift. Tuvok, she noted, was watching her every move and she knew it wouldn't be long before he followed to question her decision to go down to the planet herself. He wouldn't argue for long, just long enough to make his objection known, and then he would begrudgingly relent just as he always did.

She _was_ going down to that planet though. She needed off the ship and away from her First Officer's self-imposed guilt. Dilithium extraction was hard work, but somehow she felt she'd probably get more sleep down there than she would on _Voyager_ at the moment. She hadn't felt this confined on her own ship in a long time and she knew if it continued where it might lead. And that was a road she didn't wish to traverse again.

* * *

><p>AN: Thanks for reading so far! More to come later.


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: Nope, still don't own Voyager.

A/N: Sorry about the wait!

* * *

><p>"Captain, I'm an expert at dilithium extraction. I <em>always<em> do our extracting."

Between lack of rest, consistent meals, and over work B'Elanna was a bit agitated, to say the least. Even Tom had looked a bit petrified as he had stepped onto the shuttle after saying his farewell to the half-Klingon. Kathryn was _not_ giving in though.

"B'Elanna, the ship is still in need of repairs..."

"I'm not the only engineer on this ship, you know."

"And I'd appreciate it if you would oversee those repairs personally," she continued undeterred. The semi-request seemed to have the desired effect. After a brief hesitation the Chief Engineer deflated slightly and some of the irritation softened to a less threatening level.

"If you change your mind you know where to find me." B'Elanna relented, but Kathryn still wasn't too sure she wouldn't jump inside the shuttle at the last minute.

"Yes, I do. And you'll be the first person I call, I promise." Kathryn gave the engineer a reassuring smile and took the equipment case she'd been holding hostage out of her hand. "Now do you mind if I get on the shuttle, Lieutenant."

B'Elanna reluctantly released the case and took a step back. Janeway gave her forearm a light squeeze as she moved towards the shuttle entrance.

"Captain," B'Elanna began and paused until Janeway turned her head to look back. The half-Klingon seemed to debate her words as her eyes flickered to the entrance and to Tom who had stuck his head out and was reaching for the equipment case. "Be careful. Both of you," she added, a small smirk twisting at the corner of her lips when Tom shot her wink before he disappeared back inside.

"We will, B'Elanna. You just work on getting this ship back in working condition."

B'Elanna nodded in acknowledgement and Kathryn turned to finish ascending the ramp. Once fully inside she secured the hatch and maneuvered past all the equipment to the cockpit. Tom was just sliding into the pilot's chair when she entered. Tal Celes and crewman Brian Sofin, one of the former _Equinox_ crew, sat on a bench to the left. Jarvin and Yosa, both of whom were former Maquis, sat opposite them to the right.

Once the head count was finished and all were present and accounted for Kathryn joined Tom at the helm. "Alright, Mr. Paris, let's get out of here."

"My pleasure, Captain." A few taps of the console and the shuttle lurched up. She watched as the docking bay doors opened and Tom piloted the shuttle gracefully out of the shuttlebay.

Once clear of _Voyager_ she turned and took a seat as well, only to hear Tom sigh. "What's wrong, Tom?"

"I miss the _Delta Flyer_."

Kathryn rolled her eyes, fighting back a chuckle, and relaxed a bit in her seat. "Everyone else ready? If not it's a little late now," she added in an attempt to ease the tension that seemed to be prevalent towards the back of the shuttle.

Yosa diverted his stare when she looked their way while Jarvin continued to stare with an unreadable expression. Sofin kept his eyes glued to the bulkhead across from him just as they'd been when she had entered. It was Celes who answered...

"Ready as I'll ever be, Captain."

The bajoran seemed slightly nervous, similar to how she'd been during the first and only other away mission she'd been on, but her smile was genuine and her eyes bright with a tinge of excitement. The young woman's smile seemed a bit contagious not only for herself, but for Yosa as well it seemed. The engineer's tension eased a bit and a small barely noticeable smile appeared on his face.

Kathryn was now glad she'd decided to bring Tal along. At first it had only been because the girl's fatigue had mirrored her own and Kathryn thought this time away might give them a chance to talk. Besides that, she'd also noticed by way of Neelix, that Tal seemed to be having the same problem she had with the former maquis.

She knew for a fact the younger woman had a few close friends amongst the maquis members of the crew and that several of those friends had been acting similar to Chakotay. The more she'd thought about it the more certain she had been that Celes needed to come along. The fact she was helping put the other team members at ease was only a bonus.

Her choices for the away team members had all been rather political in a way and not just for efficiency. Tuvok had seemed to realize what she was doing, as did Chakotay if his accepting look had been any indication when she'd given him the list, but both Seven and B'Elanna had objected at first. B'Elanna she was sure understood her motivation, just didn't like it, while Seven...well, she wasn't sure how Seven felt about it other than that there were better choices to be had.

For her purposes these were just right though. Tom was an experienced pilot and could hopefully navigate them through the gravitational disturbance and any other hazard they may fly into. Yosa was a well versed engineer whom B'Elanna spoke highly of on several occasions. It was no coincident that he was also one of the ones who seemed to watch her every move lately. Neither Sofin nor Jarvin had ever really integrated into the crew as well as their peers. Especially Sofin though.

The former _Equinox_ crewmember had taken much longer to accept his position than his four other _Equinox_ friends. Though he was still a proficient security officer and took his duties seriously according to Tuvok. She was hoping this little outing would make him feel as though he were more involved with the crew.

Then there was Jarvin. Another former maquis. Chakotay had once been sure he'd stay behind on the 37's planet because he'd had a more difficult time adjusting and due to the fact he'd started a relationship with a fellow crewmember. He had not, as it turned out, and had remained and eventually he adapted with the others. However, after this last incident with the Teero mutiny, she'd heard through the grapevine that his long running relationship was on the rocks. She had a feeling he was feeling as insecure and guilt ridden as Chakotay.

It was for all these reasons that she'd chosen these particular personnel for the mission. They were well equipped to handle the objective at hand and it would also help them, and in effect the rest of the crew, to move on from their recent bump in the road. If all went well than this mission could very well be a turning point for _Voyager_. It may be farfetched, perhaps even 'inefficient', but it was worth a shot.

The trip, however well intended, may have started out decently enough, but it wasn't destined to last though.

With the first ripple of vibrations under her feet she wasn't too concerned. They were after all flying through a gravitational distortion. When the equipment in the back of the shuttle started clattering however and when Tom's brow creased in deep concentration she knew something was wrong. Every gut instinct she had told her this wasn't right and every muscle in her frame seemed to tense in anticipation.

"Tom...,"

"Give me a sec, Captain. I think I can..." The pilot cursed under his breath while he practically wrestled with the shuttle controls in a battle of sheer will. Every second the shaking grew progressively worse and through the forward window the planet could be seen growing closer and closer at an alarming speed.

There was no stopping their spiraling descent. Tom obviously realized that even while battling for control. "Everybody buckle up!"

Kathryn had stood up after nearly being thrown from her seat and was now standing behind Tom and holding onto the back of his chair. Behind her she could hear the four other members of the team scrambling to secure themselves.

"With what?" Jarvin yelled sarcastically from the back.

If the situation wasn't so dire she might have laughed. She leaned over to look at the tactical controls instead. "Shielding is down to forty percent. I'm transferring reserve power."

"I'm not going to be able to keep it steady," Tom informed her, his concentration still utterly focused on the helm. "Thrusters are out." Another mumbled curse and the shuttle lurched violently. "I've lost helm control."

From behind them there was a muffled 'thud' followed by the sound of equipment banging against bulkheads. "450 kilometers from the surface," she said and stumbled to her seat as the shuttle continued to shake uncontrollably. "Transfer all power to the shields."

"Still only fifty percent shielding." The shuttle lurched again and it felt as if it were being picked up and thrown a few hundred feet at warp speeds. "Make that forty percent," Tom yelled over the beeping and thrashing.

Something, she wasn't sure what, struck the back of her head and for a brief moment the universe itself seemed to slow down. She watched through a blurred lens as Jarvin was tossed from his seat, landing heavily on Tal who'd already fallen to the deck, and as Yosa tried to give them a hand up only to be smacked with a loose conduit in the shoulder. Sparks jumped through the air, lighting up her blurry haze, and a pain filled grunt broke through the buzzing silence and brought her sluggish gaze to Tom who was shielding his face from his exploding console.

She wanted to rush to them all. Her instincts told her to protect them. Her limbs seemed to have another idea. Slowly she stood and was fully intending to pull Tom away from the console, but the shuttle chose that moment to come to an abrupt halt and throw her to the deck as they collided straight into solid ground. In the back of her mind, just before she lost her grip on consciousness, she was vaguely glad they'd at least made it to the surface.

* * *

><p>Chakotay barely had one foot off the turbolift and he was demanding answers. "What do you mean they disappeared?"<p>

It couldn't be true, what Seven had told him over the commlink, it just couldn't. Everything had been precisely planed out. The shuttle's shields had been modified to handle the gravitational hazard. It was dangerous, yes, but he hadn't truly believed anything would go wrong. In and out, that's what the plan was.

He should have known better.

"I wouldn't exactly say 'disappeared', Commander." Harry cast a look at Seven who stood beside him. He was clearly not too thrilled with how she had described the situation. "We've just lost track of them."

Seven arched an eyebrow and addressed Chakotay. "They are no longer being picked up by our sensors and we cannot find any trace of the shuttle, debris or otherwise. They have therefore, by definition, disappeared."

"Disappearing implies they're no longer there, Seven. They are obviously there somewhere, we just can't find them," Harry argued back.

Before Seven had a chance to respond Chakotay held up a hand and leveled them both with a warning look. "That's enough, both of you. I don't care about definitions right now. What happened to the away team?"

"We lost track of them when they flew deeper into the gravitational distortion," Harry answered. "We got a glimpse of them again just as they were entering the planet's atmosphere, but it didn't last long enough to get a good lock on the shuttle or the away team."

"And now?"

It was Seven who answered this time. "We still have not picked up their signal again. Nor can we seem to contact them."

"I thought their commbadges had been adjusted to be able to cut through the distortion?" Chakotay was getting progressively more irritated. Whether at the crew, himself, or the universe in general he didn't know anymore. What was the point of their precautions if none of it would work anyways?

"They were," Harry assured him. "But...it's not working apparently. There could be more intense distortions closer to the planet's atmosphere that we aren't able to detect. We know for a fact that they did make it to the upper atmosphere though and we're pretty sure they made it to the ground as well."

Chakotay was not impressed, let alone reassured. "Pretty sure, Ensign? Don't you think we should be more than 'pretty sure'..."

"For the time being," Tuvok said from his station. "It would seem our best course of action is to simply wait. The away team has at least made it to the planet, of that we can be sure. Without further evidence to the contrary we can assume they are unharmed and therefore if we wait they may find a way to contact us or will simply return as scheduled. We cannot take_ Voyager_ in without risk of serious damage so we therefore have few other alternatives. "

He was right, Chakotay knew that. For all they knew the away team was just fine and had already found the dilithium. It was only the knot in his stomach and his own unease about it all that was putting pieces in place that weren't really part of the equation. Until they had evidence, even farfetched evidence, the best thing to do was to give the away team time. If they didn't return as scheduled...

They'd have to cross that bridge if, or when, they came to it.

He truly wished they wouldn't have to.


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: We all know I don't own it.

A/N: Things are starting to move along now...

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><p><em>Sparks.<em>

_Endless falling_.

_Pain_.

_The crew!_

Janeway's eyes snapped open and she abruptly sat up straight. Just as quickly as she awoke nausea washed over her and she had to close her eyes again to keep from unloading her breakfast. Her head throbbed so forcibly that she couldn't remember why her head felt like a targ's chew toy. Thankfully a few seconds later something, a hypo it felt like, was pressed to her neck and the pain eased to a dull ache.

Opening her eyes was a battle of sheer will, but once open she found herself face to face with Tom Paris. Her first realization was that he didn't look good. Not in the least.

"Easy there, Captain." He smiled, albeit only half-heartedly, even though the discomfort she knew he had to be feeling given the scorch marks marring his face and neck. "You have a pretty big bump on your head. Are you nauseous?"

She nodded, which only caused another wave of pain and dizziness to flood through her. To distract herself she took a look around at their surroundings. As the stick poking her in the thigh and the mulchy ground suggested, they weren't in the shuttle any longer. They were, in fact, on the planet. Surrounded by trees and shrubbery and the occasional rock. A couple of trees had been knocked over, a couple more leaning over onto their neighbors like dominos frozen mid action, and in effect making a semi-circle of clear land.

Following the path of fallen trees she saw the shuttle. Or what was left of it. It had crashed at an unnatural angle, the front tipping down towards the ground and the very tip actually stuck in the dirt. Smoke was billowing around it, thinning out now as if it'd been at it for a while, and through the broken frontal window she could see conduits and pieces of the bulkhead hanging down.

It didn't take more than a few seconds observation to know that the odds of getting it airborne again weren't in their favor. In fact to even get it semi-functioning they'd probably need a full engineering team and no small amount of patience.

Tom pressed another hypo to her neck and gradually the nausea died down enough to allow her to actually focus. "Is everyone alright?"

"Well I think it's pretty safe to say you have a concussion..."

"I wasn't asking about me."

Tom paused for a moment, studying her with a mostly unreadable expression, before answering her question. "We're all alive. A little worse for wear, but," his lips quirked into a small amused smirk. "Functional."

She gave him a once over and made a move to stand. She was stiffer than a Vulcan on talent night, that much she knew. "You don't look so good, Tom."

"Careful, Captain," the pilot insisted and helped her up when it became obvious she wasn't going to stay sitting down. "And you don't look that great either right now."

"I'm well aware of that, Mr. Paris, thank you." She'd already noticed that her uniform jacket was torn at the shoulder and there was a tear in her lower right pant leg as well and...she looked down and realized for the first time that one of her boots was missing, leaving her with a boot on one foot and a sock on the other. Glancing up she raised an eyebrow at Tom in a silent 'care to explain' way.

"Some of the bulkhead debris kind of...fell on you. Your foot was stuck under a bunch of it and when you were pulled out your foot came, but your boot stayed behind. I'm afraid it's still missing in action."

"If you want I can see if I can find your shoe for you, Captain." Tal Celes offered as she came towards them with her arms full of ration packs. She was smiling with both a look of relief and joy at seeing the Captain awake.

Kathryn smiled lightly at the young woman in return and shook her head. Fortunately the medicine Tom gave her seemed to have stopped the dizziness and nausea. "No, that's alright. Thank you though, Celes."

As Tal put her arm full of supplies down Kathryn noticed the piece of uniform wrapped around the bajoran's hand and wrist. She watched as the crewman turned to face her, smiled a bit sheepishly as if she had been about to say something but had then changed her mind, before practically scampering back to the shuttle. Once she was gone Kathryn looked over at Tom with the unasked question about Tal's apparent injury.

"A slight sprain from what I can tell without a tricorder. Nothing too serious."

That caught her attention and made her frown. "What do you mean without a tricorder?"

"The tricorders aren't working. There's something about this planet or the distortion or something that just knocked them out."

"Is there _anything_ working?"

"Not really." He held up the hypo he still held in his hand and gave it a dissatisfied look as if it were the bane of his existence. "We're even low on medication because it all got tossed around. Even the dermal regenerator isn't working and the spare medkit is missing."

Kathryn nearly asked if things could get any worse, but quickly decided not to tempt fate. "Where are the others," she asked instead.

"Sofin's over there," Tom answered, nodding to the lump under a charred blanket. At her concerned look he continued. "I'm pretty sure he'll be alright. He passed out almost as soon as we were all out of the shuttle. He was the only one who more or less stayed conscious during the whole thing, so I think it's just fatigue and draining adrenaline at this point. Yosa and Jarvin are trying to salvage whatever they can from the shuttle," he added and as if on cue the two men in question came from around the shuttle with a couple blankets and an equipment case between them while Tal followed behind with a few canisters.

Jarvin was limping slightly and Yosa looked like he was missing a patch of hair on the side of his head. They carefully placed their burdens in the same spot Tal had deposited the ration packs and then stood back a ways as if waiting to be told what to do next.

The pile of salvageable goods wasn't all that big. In fact it was a half-decent cause for concern. There were ration packs, so at least they wouldn't starve right away, a couple canisters of what she assumed was extra water, and a few blankets that looked like they'd gone ten rounds with a bat'leth. The equipment case she recognized as the one she'd taken from B'Elanna just a few hours previously was also present. It was for the extraction they'd come down here to do. The extraction that they probably wouldn't be doing right away. Without the rest of the mining equipment or the tricorders programmed to trace the dilithium than they probably wouldn't even find the deposit, let alone be able to extract it.

"What about the commbadges," she asked, remembering the modified frequency. "Can we get in touch with _Voyager_?"

"Either they aren't working or _Voyager_'s ignoring us," Jarvin answered, sounding less than thrilled and all together annoyed. There was a hint of concern, maybe even fear, lacing his tone as well though.

She couldn't blame him. She herself was more than a little concerned at this point. The difference was that she was the captain. She didn't have the benefit of showing any doubt or overly concerned feelings.

"If _Voyager_ hasn't noticed something's wrong yet than they will when we don't check in," she assured them. "For now let's get everything situated and make the best of this. Maybe we can get the commbadges working. Celes and Jarvin, you two start sorting the ration packs. It's going to be getting dark soon, so Mr. Paris, you and I will get some wood for a fire and do a quick scout of the area while we're at it. Yosa...," She looked him over briefly, taking in how tired he really did look, and then took her commbadge off. "You look like you're about to fall over and join Sofin. Sit down and see what you can do with this," she instructed, tossing him her soot covered commbadge.

There was a chorus of 'yes, ma'am' and 'aye, Captain' as they each went about their assigned work. After a moment's continued observation Kathryn led the way into the forest, the feeling of uneasy foreboding still knotting her stomach.


	8. Chapter 8

Disclaimer: I'm not going to say it this time because we all already know it.

A/N: This is a very short chapter. Just a little extra look into Chakotay's head.

* * *

><p>He tried to put off worry, tried to ignore the gnawing in his gut, but hour after hour that passed Chakotay found it harder and harder to just sit still and wait. Call it a gut instinct, call it his over active imagination, call it insane and illogical for all he cared...<p>

But he knew something was wrong.

There was the possibility that it was his guilt ridden conscious putting circumstantial evidence in the picture and tainting the true situation. It was possible. He could admit that much. He didn't think that was it though. He may feel a deep soul crushing guilt eating away at him, but he didn't really believe it was causing his worry.

No. It was the Captain causing his worry. When it came to Kathryn he usually had a sixth-sense. _Usually_, that is. Lately, the last few weeks especially, he couldn't really read her. Not like he used to be able to do. She'd progressively closed off from him the last year or so. The more he thought about it, and during the last few hours that's all he'd done, he could see how he had pulled away from her as well.

Who did it first and why he wasn't even sure anymore. It just happened. Slowly they'd grown apart while their connection, that thin invisible cord that always kept part of his soul fully belonging to her, remained tightly strung between them. The more they pulled away the tighter that string was pulled. Logically speaking it should theoretically break.

Their connection wasn't logical as far as he could tell though. That invisible cord was reinforced by both of their devotion, loyalty, respect, and friendship. It was unbreakable. He was convinced of that. He was also convinced it was destined to explode if pulled tight enough though. At that point _something_ would happen, but even then that connection wouldn't be completely severed.

In cases like these that cord acted as a type of communication receiver. It yanked at his heartstrings and wrapped around his chest with a bruising force when something was wrong with the person on the other end. Perhaps he really was insane. Maybe Kathryn had finally driven him off the deep end.

Even if that was true he still knew something was wrong though. The rest of the crew was gradually feeling it as well. Or at least some of them. He couldn't be sure about Tuvok. Kathryn would have been able tell what the Vulcan was feeling, even if he wasn't really feeling it according to said stubborn Vulcan, but he himself wasn't as familiar with the nuances involved.

B'Elanna was growing more agitated by the hour though, that much was obvious, and was a sure sign of her concern. He didn't blame her. Her husband was down on an unknown planet and hadn't checked in for several hours. As for the others, Harry was beginning to show concern as well and even Seven seemed a bit unsure as to whether or not the team was safe.

The deadline was growing closer though. If the away team didn't return within the next twenty-four hour period then they would know something was keeping them from returning. In which case it would be time to take action in their recovery. He'd spent the last two hours, between brooding about the state of his and Kathryn's relationship and contemplating his own reaction to the Teero incident, contemplating a rescue plan in case it was needed.

Another shuttle was out of the question. If something happened to the first one than there was a pretty good chance it'd happen to a second. Transporters were still on the fritz and even if they weren't they couldn't lock onto any life signs to beam them up anyways. He couldn't just leave the planet with unanswered questions about the away team either. So far the only viable option he'd come up with was landing _Voyager_ on the planet.

So if it became necessary, which he hoped it wouldn't, then he'd give the order to land _Voyager_. Kathryn might kill him later for such a risk, but at least she'd be alive to do so.


	9. Chapter 9

Disclaimer: Still don't own it.

A/N: This chapter contains two POVs, including one which hasn't been done yet in this story.

* * *

><p>Kathryn knelt down where Sofin, Jarvin, Celes, and Yosa were getting ready to turn in for the night. The shuttle had been far too damaged to sit in, let alone sleep, so they'd divided the blankets up to make pallets and gathered fresh leaves to stuff under them for some semblance of padding. It'd been a long day for them all and even the meager comfort was nice. They were all so tired she doubted they'd be awake long enough to notice their lumpy bedding anyway.<p>

"Feel any better, Sofin?" The crewman, the youngest of the male team members, was looking rather unsatisfied with his blanket which kept tangling around his feet. He'd woken while she and Tom had been gathering wood, but probably could have slept for another twenty-four hours without protest.

The crewman made a mumbling like noise as he scowled at the blanket before realizing who was asking. "Yes, ma'am," he answered upon finally looking up.

"Good. Next time how about trying not to drag people out of a shuttle all on your own though, alright?"

"I'm hoping there won't ever be a next time, ma'am."

"You and me both." Turning her attention to the others she noticed the faraway look Tal had as she stared up at the night sky while Yosa and Jarvin chatted in hushed tones while they attempted to get comfortable.

As she watched them the all too familiar feeling of isolation, failure, and fresh guilt washed over her. It was a sensation she'd felt many times over the last few years, almost any time she stopped to think for ten consecutive minutes in fact, but it had intensified again over the last few days.

Her crew. Her responsibility. Therefore it followed that it was her fault that they were in this predicament. It was simple math really. A simple equation with complex results.

With a mental shove she pushed those thoughts away. "Get some rest. In the morning we'll see what we can do about boosting the comm frequency. Maybe we'll even do a bit of exploring," she added with a half-smile.

There were nods of acknowledgment, but no verbal response. Another symptom of their fatigue perhaps. Or perhaps a sign of their true disbelief in ever getting off the planet.

She watched as they settled down before standing and moving back over to the fire to take a seat opposite of the remaining team member. She'd told Tom to go to get some rest as well, but he claimed to be restless. For her it was part restlessness and part determination. She was determined to keep the away team safe. If that meant skipping sleep then so be it.

Technically speaking there shouldn't be all too much to worry about as far as predators went, considering Seven had told her there were no life signs on the planet. When they'd scouted the area earlier they'd only run across a few insects and nothing much larger than that.

As the sun had begun sinking towards the distant horizon she'd heard something though. Something that didn't quite add up with the fact they were supposed to be alone. Until she was sure of what she'd heard and that it wasn't just the wind in the trees she would refrain from causing the others anymore concern than they were already experiencing.

Speaking of concern...

Tom was acting a bit overly astute. That was the second time he'd looked over his shoulder towards the woods. "Everything alright, Tom?"

He looked over at her and for a moment he simply stared back before flashing her his trademark crooked grin. "Everything's fine, Captain. Well, besides from the obvious."

She watched him silently in return, trying to discern what it was exactly that was causing him to be so uncomfortable. Other than the obvious, as he put it. Before she could determine exactly what it was there was a loud clash of thunder that seemed to summarize the foreboding she was experiencing.

And there was that misplaced sound again.

It wasn't just an insect, that much she was sure of.

"I'm going to do a quick perimeter check," she said while gazing passively at the trees. "Go ahead and turn in, Tom. I'll wake you when it's your turn to take watch."

"I got it." He stands at the same time she does, but he's closer to the phaser and reaches it first. "You can take second watch."

He didn't trust her. That's what it must be. He didn't feel secure, hence his paranoia, and he needed the control of doing the watch himself to feel better. If that's what he needed then so be it. "Alright, Lieutenant." She starts to move past him, but stops to put a hand on his shoulder. "Make sure to wake me in a few hours though. That's an order."

"Yes, ma'am."

She gives him a light nod in acknowledgment and then walks over to where the others are already sleeping. As she settles down and tries to get comfortable she's well aware of Tom's eyes on her. It was a familiar sensation, but not from a familiar source. Not once over the last few weeks had it been Tom to watch her every move. She ignored it, as she'd done with the others, and attempted to relax enough to sleep.

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><p><em><strong>Tom's POV<strong>_**:**

No one was prepared for how the night would go. How could they be? They were stranded on a foreign planet without tricorders, sensors, very few weapons, and no real shelter other than that which they threw together themselves. They had no way of knowing what sort of creatures lurked in the darkness or which plants were poisonous.

According to _Voyager_'s sensors there were no signs of humanoid life on the planet, but Tom was beginning to wonder if even that was reliable. Every once in a while he could swear he heard a noise. A distinctive whisper on the wind that no animal could make.

He had no proof of what his gut instincts were telling him, only the churning sensation in his stomach and the prickling on the back of his neck. It was unscientific, illogical, and all together ridiculous. It wasn't as if they didn't have enough to worry about as it was. He should keep his mouth shut and his eyes open. That's what B'Elanna would tell him.

B'Elanna...

He wondered what she was doing. If she missed him. Was she worried about him or was she thankful for the peace and quiet? They were only ten hours or so late for the check in, so she probably wasn't too panicked quite yet. In a few hours though, when it became clear the away team wasn't going to be checking in, how would she react?

He knew one thing for sure...

When they got back to _Voyager_ B'Elanna would probably kill him for this stunt. As if it were his fault. Then again maybe it was his fault. Maybe if he'd been faster at the controls, if he'd compensated for the turbulence more, if he...if he...

The hairs on the back of his neck suddenly stood on end again. Turning sharply he searched the zigzagging border of the trees for any sign of life, whether animal or other, but came up empty handed. Just as he had every time now. There was nothing out there. Nothing except his own overactive imagination.

"Everything alright, Tom?"

Turning back to face the campfire he was met with the steely blue eyes of the Captain. She was watching him from her place on the forest floor across the fire, her gaze both coolly guarded and warm at the same time. A contradiction wrapped in an enigma and sprinkled with mischief. That's how he'd always described that expression.

The smile he gave her was a classic Tom Paris. Just barely genuine enough to pass as acceptable without giving away too much of what he was really thinking. She'd always been able to see through it, he knew, but hopefully she wouldn't push. "Everything's fine, Captain. Well, besides from the obvious," he added, his grin growing a fraction more. She continued to watch him a moment longer, her eyes seemingly prying all his secrets forth without him saying a word, before she thankfully tore her gaze away and he was able to breathe a silent sigh of relief.

There was another creaking amongst the trees, a subtle whisper barely reaching his ears, and then a clap of thunder that shook the very ground and startles him so much he nearly jumps. It seemed they were going to be having a rain storm.

Just wonderful.

It wasn't as if they had any other problems at the moment.

"I'm going to do a quick perimeter check," the Captain says, and when he looks over at her he sees her scanning the trees with a tense look about her. For a moment he wonders if maybe she hears the voices too. "Go ahead and turn in, Tom. I'll wake you when it's your turn to take the watch."

No she won't. They both know she's not going to wake him up unless she absolutely can't keep her eyes open any longer. She thinks it's part of being a captain and looking after her flock. He thinks it's masochistic. "I got it," he says, standing quickly along with her and reaching for the phaser before she gets the chance. "You can take second watch."

It's not just his own drive to make sure she doesn't kill herself that has him volunteering. This time it's for his own sanity as well because this way he can have a closer look at the area and make sure for himself there aren't any visitors spying on them. Hopefully it'll help him sleep when it is his turn to hit the emergency blanket turned bedding.

The Captain arches an eyebrow, not quite as elegantly as Tuvok or Seven but with its own unique brand of power. She has an authoritative eyebrow. He nearly laughs at the thought, but manages to flash a crooked grin her way instead. As always it serves to amuse her, making her lips quark upwards into a semi-smile.

For a minute he expects her to argue and order him to bed, so it's no small surprise when she nods. "Alright, Lieutenant," she replies and starts moving past him. She stops just when they're side-by-side. "Make sure to wake me up in a few hours though. That's an order." The fact she doesn't meet his eyes isn't lost on him.

"Yes, ma'am." It's a familiar response that they've both heard many a time on the bridge and it's actually become a sort of comfort now. After giving a subtle nod in acknowledgment she continues on towards the makeshift sleeping bags set up and begins settling in. He can't decide if her easy relenting is a sign of her true tiredness or something else. The fact she didn't look him in the eye makes his stomach churn again though and makes him think it was something else entirely. He doesn't want to think about what that something could be.

Silently, and with more thoughts clattering up his head than he'd like, he puts a few more twigs in the fire and moves into the trees to make sure everything's as it's supposed to be. He almost hopes it's not. If only so he wouldn't think he were going insane.


	10. Chapter 10

Disclaimer: If I owned it then I wouldn't need this disclaimer.

A/N: Another chapter with two POVs. And of course, thanks for reading!

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><p><em><strong>B'Elanna's POV:<strong>_

This was ridiculous. Absolutely ridiculous. If the away team was 'fine' than they'd know where they were and they would have checked in. Was it a possibility that the communications just weren't working? Yes. Out here anything was possible she'd come to realize.

Was it probable? That she wasn't so sure. The resident borg queen could probably give her all kinds of statistics on the matter, but not one of them would she be interested in. The fact was that they didn't know what condition the away team was in. They didn't even know _where_ the away team was.

They should be going in closer to find out. It was a risk, yes, but they'd taken more risks for less before. The rules had their uses. It'd taken her a few years to accept that, but she had accepted it. However, in situations like this, protocol wasn't always right.

Her husband was out there, the captain was out there, and four other crewmembers all in who knows what kind of danger. And they were just _waiting_. She was surprised at Chakotay. There was a time when he would have been among the first to volunteer for an instant rescue mission.

Her old friend had been acting less like himself lately though. If she thought kicking some sense into him would help she would already be doing so. The problem was she wasn't sure even that would help at this point.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Janeway's POV:<strong>_

As it turned out the nights on the planet were enough to freeze a person from the inside out. Kathryn surmised it might be due in part to the storm. After it started raining their first night it didn't let up until the following afternoon. The storm had even caused lightening to strike a tree somewhere and presumably nearby considering the loud 'crack' they'd heard that had been followed by an earth shaking 'bang' as said tree apparently fell.

The storm, having been so intense, caused the sleeping away team members to wake up. They'd then had to put together a meager shelter made mostly out of tree limbs and pieces of detached bulkhead from the shuttle. Afterwards they still hadn't slept much if any and the resulting rain had practically soaked their uniforms which only served to make them that much colder.

As the night turned to daylight and the sun eventually came out from behind the clouds the away team had stripped down to their t-shirts so their uniform jackets could dry. The warm sunlight had felt good on her skin, but it didn't help the ache she felt all over thanks to the effect the cold weather had when mixed with the concussion. Tom and his seldom shown gallant self had maneuvered himself under the makeshift shelter so he had been pushed right up next to her. His body heat had helped keep the hypothermia away at least.

The sun was yet again beginning its slow decent now though and thanks to the few warm hours they'd enjoyed after the rain their clothes were fortunately dry. A good thing as it turned out because as the sun sank lower the temperature gradually dropped once again. She could only hope it didn't rain this time as well.

In a few more hours, about the time the sun came out again, it would be forty-eight hours since their original departure. If _Voyager_ wasn't aware of their predicament yet than they would be in about twelve hours. There would be a rescue. She wasn't sure how they would go about accomplishing it, but it would be done.

She'd been keeping the malfunctioning commbadge close by at all times, just in case the crew back on _Voyager_ figured out how to cut through the distortions. So far it hadn't so much as made a static filled buzz, let alone a more normal chirp. As much as she'd missed hearing Chakotay's gentle tones and warm smile before, but had ignored it, now she missed them double as much. She had a feeling it was her regret that was making such feelings show their mischievous little head. Perhaps it was the concussion as well.

Blaming it on the concussion sounded pretty good right now.

Maybe she could blame her still present unease about their surroundings on that too. While she was at it she might as well account her all-encompassing guilt and growing depression on that head wound as well.

"Um...Captain?"

Kathryn looked up from where she was staring at her commbadge. "Yes, Celes?"

The young bajoran looked embarrassed, distraught, and utterly apologetic. "It's the ration packs," she began, holding out a mushy looking pouch of rations. "I was doing an inventory of them again and...well...we're going to run out sooner than we thought."

"There were enough packed for a week." She knew some had been lost in the shuttle crash, but just the day before they'd still had enough for four to five days at least.

"I know, but we lost a bunch in the crash and then..." the girl trailed off, her eyes flickering down to the ground with a downcast look."The storm. I forgot to bring them under the shelter with us. A lot of them are completely ruined. I'm so sorry, Captain! Really...I...I'm sorry."

The poor girl seemed as distraught as Kathryn had ever seen her. Tal hadn't appeared this outwardly upset when her friend Telfer had been infested with the dark matter lifeform. "It's alright, Tal. I didn't think about it either," she said with a gentle smile in hopes it would comfort the young woman. "We were all a little distracted at the time as I recall."

"I know. I mean I guess, but... I was in charge of the rations and...I'm sorry, Captain."

"Stop apologizing for things that aren't your fault, crewman. And I can make that an order if I need to. Come here," she added, patting the ground. "Sit down. And stop worrying so much. That's my job not yours."

Tal smiled sadly and only hesitated a second before sitting a couple feet away. Behind her, closer to the tree line, Jarvin and Yosa were talking amicably. Sofin sat with them, but wasn't interacting with them. Meanwhile Tom attempted to start a fire. Kathryn had decided she would give him five more minutes to try before she went over to lend a hand.

"How are you, Tal?" she asked once Celes seemed comfortable. "Is your wrist alright?"

Tal looked down at the hand and wrist wrapped in the black material of her own torn uniform. She flexed her fingers and winced. "It's a little sore, but it could be worse. What about you, Captain? Are you okay?"

Kathryn smiled softly. "I'm fine. Thank you for asking."

"Are you sure? Because you seemed pretty cold last night. Colder than the rest of us even."

She mentally cursed herself for allowing her discomfort last night to show. Even if she hadn't been aware that she was showing it. Then again, Tal had been laying on the side of her that Tom hadn't been on. It was possible she'd only noticed because of the occasional uncontrollable shiver that ran down her spine and that the others hadn't noticed.

"Don't worry about me. I'll be fine."

Tal didn't seem all too convinced, but let it go. "I know this mission hasn't exactly gone according to plan, but I wanted to thank you for bringing me along."

That was a bit of surprise. She hadn't expected anyone to thank her for getting them in this mess. In fact it didn't quite make sense. "You enjoy camping, crewman?" she asked dryly and with a hint of disbelief.

"No, not really," Tal laughed and her solemn mood turned into a grin. "I have gone camping before though. Well, it wasn't exactly camping. It was one of the bajoran camps so it was more like our house at the time, but...yeah." She cleared her throat before starting over. "What I mean is, thank you for bringing me along because it's given me a chance to talk with Yosa. I'd been feeling a bit...awkward around him lately."

"_You've_ been feeling awkward?" For the second time in less than five minutes the young woman surprised her. She'd expected Yosa to be the one feeling awkward, she knew for a fact he was around herself at least, not for Tal to.

"Do you remember the staged escape attempt during the Teero mutiny? The one Lieutenant Paris and Ensign Kim set up?" Tal asked, breaking her from her thoughts.

She nodded. She had in fact heard about that from Tom and Harry in their reports. As well as B'Elanna in fact, though she had been on the opposing side of it all. She also remembered Tal being mentioned as one of those involved. "I heard about that, yes."

"Well...," Tal blushed lightly and glanced at the three men across the clearing. "When the scuffle started. I kind of jumped on Yosa's back a little bit."

"A little bit?" Tom laughed as he plopped down on the ground with them. "You nearly knocked him over on impact. It was a pretty great maneuver. Wish you could have seen it, Captain. I might have to try it the next time we run into trouble to demonstrate."

Tal blushed even more, but her amusement was evident in her grin. "I did kind of feel bad about it later when everything was back to normal though."

"Don't feel bad, Tal. You can jump on my back anytime," Yosa said as he walked over, having heard enough to know what they were talking about. He tapped the bajoran's shoulder and smiled down at her. "It's our turn to get firewood."

"Oh, right!" Tal jumped up and brushed her uniform off before turning to the Captain and giving her a respectful nod in parting.

Yosa inclined his head in the same manner and, for the first time in weeks, actually met her eyes without looking away. She returned the gesture while Tom gave a small wave and the two ventured into the woods. She watched them go until the shrubbery hid them from sight and it was only then she realized Tom was watching her.

"Something I can help you with, Mr. Paris?" she asked with a raised eyebrow.

"I was just thinking..."

"Dangerous habit where you're concerned."

Tom smirked and didn't disagree. "I was thinking...that maybe you should take your own advice."

"Advice on what, exactly?"

"About not being sorry for things that aren't your fault." Without another word the pilot stood and walked back over to add more sticks to the fire, leaving her to think over what he said and marvel over the enigma that is Tom Paris.


	11. Chapter 11

Disclaimer: Is there any doubt about this...

A/N: Back to Chakotay's POV.

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><p>It was official. The forty-eight hour return window had arrived and passed in a worried haze. The away team had failed to return and there had been no contact in any other way. Even calm and collected Tuvok was beginning to show concern in his own logical way while B'Elanna was about ready to rip both his and Tuvok's heads off for their delay. He actually agreed with her and wouldn't blame her for doing so if they reached the planet and found the away team in less than stellar condition.<p>

He'd called a senior staff meeting, mostly for protocol's sake, to discuss the matter. He thought Kathryn might be proud of his show of leadership and respect for the rules. She did so love her protocol.

Once everyone was seated he began. "I'm sure we all know why we're here..."

B'Elanna scoffed and crossed her arms. "Yeah, so we can waste more time."

"I believe, Lieutenant, the purpose of this meeting is in fact to discuss our plan of action in regards of recovering the away team," Seven so helpfully pointed out, much to the annoyance of the Engineer Chief.

"I know tensions are high right now," Chakotay interrupted before B'Elanna could reply. Or drag the former borg's head across the table and strangle her to death with her own hair. At this point he wouldn't put it past her. "But we need to work together…_calmly_...," he stressed with a warning look in B'Elanna's direction. "...if we're going to get the away team back and keep _Voyager_ safe at the same time."

"The Commander has a point," Harry muttered and was consequently on the receiving end of one very threatening half-Klingon glare.

Chakotay felt a headache coming on. "Alright, so the general plan, the only feasible one at the moment, is taking _Voyager_ in closer to the planet. Maybe if we're closer the sensors will work better. The only problem is..."

Seven deemed fit to finish for him. "We are already damaged. Flying into a gravitational distortion will only prove to cause further damage and possibly disable the ship entirely."

"Precisely," he replied, trying not to sound too frustrated at the interruption. "How are the shield modifications coming, Tuvok?"

"The shields have been restored to a constant sixty-seven percent. It is not as favorable as full integrity, but it is an improvement. With the modifications which Lieutenant Torres suggested, and by diverting more power to the shields, than I believe there is approximately a seventy-four percent chance that they will hold long enough for us to retrieve the away team. Assuming the away team is easily located."

"That's better news than yesterday. Good work, both of you." Tuvok inclined his head and B'Elanna continued to glare at various objects in the room without acknowledging his comment. "What about transporters. Harry?"

"They might as well still be inoperative, Commander." The ensign looked as disappointed as Chakotay felt. "We're already diverting most of the power to the shields and the warp core which doesn't leave much for anything else. I can't really fix them properly without the extra power supply."

"It's alright, Harry, I know you're doing your best." He sighed tiredly and rubbed his eyes. "So unless anyone has any objections, and if you do you'd better have an alternate suggestion too, than it's decided." He waited for a moment to see if anyone would object, but no one said a word. The fire shooting from B'Elanna's eyes was probably enough to scare off any protests if there'd been some anyway. "Okay than. At 1700 hours we're moving in. Seven, you and Harry see about boasting the comm frequency to cut through the distortion from the inside. The rest of you just keep doing what you're doing. Dismissed."

As they filed out of the room, each going their respective ways, he remembered the last time he was alone in this room with Kathryn and the way he'd acted. Maybe he hadn't necessarily been wrong, but he hadn't been right either. He should have acted better, more mature, instead of striking out. He knew that now. The thought only made the simmering guilt he was already feeling intensify that much more.


	12. Chapter 12

Disclaimer: I'm not saying it this time either.

A/N: Both Chakotay and Janeway this time along with a bit of a surprise at the end...

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><p>"Anything yet?" Chakotay asked as he held onto the armrest of his chair. The bridge rattled and creaked, but so far the shields were holding and the ship was still in one piece. They were only as far as the outer most rim of the distortion though. Things could still get worse.<p>

Harry sighed from his station and looked up. "Nothing. It's as if there's a sort of wall separating us from the planet. We can pick up the mineral signatures and the fact there's a storm forming over the northeast part of the continent, but no lifesigns.

"No lifesigns that you're picking up or just...no lifesigns." There was difference between the two, he reminded himself. If they just weren't picking up the lifesigns than it meant the away team could be down there and they just couldn't find them. If there were no lifesigns what-so-ever than the chances were the away team was dead.

"I'm not sure, Commander."

That didn't sound all that encouraging. The knot in his stomach tightened in agreement. "What about the shuttle?"

"There's some debris just outside the planet's atmosphere..."

A sharp painful stab shot through his chest when Harry paused.

"...But it's not enough to be the shuttle. Maybe a part of the shuttle, like a piece of hull plating that broke off, but not the whole shuttle."

Chakotay released the breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding until that moment. At least the shuttle was still mostly intact from what they could tell. Just then there was another current, this one stronger, which made the ship rattle once again.

"The shuttle may have run into a pocket of intense distortions," Seven said from the stations behind him. "I am picking up such a layer that extends around the planet. It is possible such intensity disrupted helm control, possibly even life support and shielding, and caused the shuttle to crash land."

"But we don't know for sure," he stated. Not knowing was never a good thing. There were too many possibilities and variables in such situations. "Harry, if we landed, do you think we'd be able to locate the away team from the planet?"

"Maybe," he answered, not sounding all that confident. "Maybe not. It's hard to tell."

Chakotay took a moment to go over their options. There weren't many of them. The longer he stared at the rotating planet on the viewscreen the more he was sure of what had to be done. With his mind made up he tapped his commbadge. "All decks. Prepare to land. We're going in."

* * *

><p>Kathryn sat near the currently unlit pile of sticks and moss they were using as a nightly fire and tinkered with her inoperative commbadge. It really was no use. The distortions were making such a mess of things that they simply couldn't get through to <em>Voyager<em>. The more she fiddled with the small device the more she was convinced it wasn't just the distortion giving them the issues though.

She'd run across such natural phenomena before and, while they could certainly be destructive, they didn't generally completely knock out devices such as commbadges and tricorders like this one supposedly was. It may cause interference with communications and sensor readings and it was definitely a navigational hazard, but to utterly deactivate a device so it didn't so much as chirp or buzz... that was something she found a little unusual. Impossible, of course not, but a bit odd none the less.

Mostly she was tinkering with the communication device to keep her mind occupied. In her experience an occupied mind couldn't dwell on things it shouldn't be dwelling on. As an added bonus it also helped distract her from the fact her head was starting to throb again.

The little escapade the team had taken earlier in the morning hadn't helped her head wound apparently. Their exploration did, however, prove informative if nothing else. They now knew for sure that there were no mineral deposits within a two mile radius of their crash point. There was a stream that could be used as a fresh water source should they run out of water before rescue came however. They'd also found a clearing from which they had seen a mountain range not too far away.

Under different circumstances she might have found the landscape to be pleasant and quite beautiful. This wasn't the average circumstance though and so she found it a bit more difficult to see the beauty past the danger.

"One of these days, you know where I'd like to crash land and be stranded for days on end?" Tom asked from next to her, successfully interrupting her thoughts and examination of the commbadge.

"Where?" She had a feeling she knew about what his answer would be.

"A peaceful resort with swimming pools and umbrella drinks and nice exotic wome...views."

"Do you think B'Elanna would appreciate these 'exotic views'?"

"There would exotic views for her too I'm sure," the pilot answered. A soon as he said it, however, he made a displeased face. "On second thought maybe we should avoid the native visuals."

Kathryn chuckled. "I'll tell you what. Next time I'll see about getting us stranded on Risa. How's that?"

Tom grinned lavishly. "Very considerate of you, Captain. Thanks."

A few moments of silence descended again during which she returned to studying the commbadge and periodically glancing over at Tal and Jarvin, whose leg was propped atop some blankets. His leg, as far as they could tell, wasn't broken, but it was however covered in a mass of bruises which made it pretty uncomfortable to move too much.

She was glad to see he was talking so easily to Tal as well. Since they'd left _Voyager_ he'd mostly kept to conversing with crewman Yosa. She wasn't quite sure what to make of Jarvin. He had the makings of a good officer. When Chakotay had believed he'd be one to stay with the 37's, she'd been disappointed to lose him. She also knew though that he wasn't a big fan of Starfleet and had, in the beginning of their voyage, once offered to back Chakotay if he decided to mutiny. Ironically enough he had backed Chakotay in a mutiny years later while being controlled by someone thousands of light years away.

"Do you mind if I ask you something, Captain?"

Once again Tom pulled her from her thoughts. He seemed to be doing that a lot these last couple days. In fact she was beginning to wonder if he was doing it on purpose. "Ask away, Lieutenant."

As if he wouldn't ask her anyway.

"You and Chakotay..."

She nearly put a stop to that line of questioning right there and then.

"You haven't settled things between you since the Teero thing yet, have you?" he finished, unaware of her inner weariness.

"What makes you think there's anything that needs settling?"

"You didn't sit together at the movies."

Maybe her head was cracked open more than she thought, but that didn't quite make sense. "The movies?"

Tom gave her a crooked smile as if he knew she'd ask that. "After the Teero mutiny. When we all went to the 20th century movie theatre on the holodeck and watched _'Return of the Creature'_. I've never seen the two of you go to something like that and not be within arm's length of each other. I figured that was a pretty good indication something was up."

"Has anyone ever told you just how irritating your observation skills can be, Lieutenant?"

"I think I may have heard something along those lines once or twice. That's not an answer to my question though."

"No, it's not."

"Well?"

"There's nothing to settle, Tom. Really. So don't worry about it." It was a lie, but there was no reason for Tom to know the details of the captain and first officer's relationship. Tom simply watched her for a few seconds without saying anything further and she hoped that meant he'd decided to let it go. She should have known better.

"You know," he began, finally looking away and towards the trees as if casually admiring their beauty. "B'Elanna acted a bit...weird around me for a few hours afterwards, but I couldn't stand it so I made her talk. As I'm sure you noticed no one makes B'Elanna Torres talk. It pretty much turned into a yelling match. Mostly a one sided yelling match. By the time she'd yelled herself out we were good as new though."

Kathryn arched an eyebrow at the story. Tuvok had mentioned a noise disturbance around their quarters right after all the former maquis had had their physicals. A few hours later Tom and B'Elanna had shown up at the movies and from what she remembered they'd barely left each other's side the whole night.

That was beside the point though. "Tom, you do realize that the Commander and I have one very important difference from you and B'Elanna..."

"You're the Command team?"

"We're not a couple," she deadpanned.

A far too mischievous gleam took up residence in Tom's eyes. "Maybe you should pretend to be. You know, for the good of the crew." Even through his obvious amusement, Tom managed to look solemnly serious. "I know it'd be difficult for the two of you to act like that, but you know...it might just help your command relationship," he said, with just enough sarcasm to be noticeable, but not enough to call him out on.

"Tom, why don't you go help Sofin and Yosa collect wood for the fire."

"If I didn't know better I'd say you were trying to get rid of me."

"Very astute observation skills," she said dryly.

Before Tom could retort a pain filled scream ripped through the peacefulness of the forest. Both she and Tom jumped to their feet instantly just as the yell was followed by a desperate call of, "Captain!"

"Yosa," she whispered upon recognizing the voice. Without further thought she grabbed a phaser and started running towards the source, Tom right behind her with Tal and Jarvin following as well.


	13. Chapter 13

Disclaimer: I don't own Star Trek: Voyager. Obviously.

A/N: As always, thank you everyone for the lovely reviews, for adding to favorites and alerts, and for taking the time to read this story.

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><p><em>Voyager <em>shook, rattled, and practically groaned as it maneuvered though the distortion and gradually fought its way to the planet's upper atmosphere. It was at this level that the away team's shuttle had apparently lost a piece of its outer hull. _Voyager_'s hull was already damaged so the increased pressure and rough flight had already chipped away another couple pieces of the outer plating.

That kind of damage could be easily fixed from the surface though. So far the reinforced shielding was doing its job, that's what mattered most. As long as the shields stayed up and the ship held together the rest of the way down than they should be alright.

"_Medical update, Commander_," The EMH said over the staticy comm system. He sounded extremely annoyed even through the static.

Chakotay gritted his teeth at the Doctor's timing. "What is it, Doctor?"

"_Lieutenant Hargrove_ _has had an untimely meeting with a bulkhead and has suffered a minor bump on the head as a result. It could have been much worse though. Is there any way you could possibly not toss the crew around like rag dolls_?"

He bit back his initial annoyed response in favor of being a little more professional. "I'll see what I can do, Doctor, but I'm not making any guarantees. In case you haven't noticed we're flying through something no ship was meant to fly through. Chakotay out," he said, closing the channel before the Doctor could reply. "How much further?"

"Almost there, Commander," crewman Grimes, the conn officer in Tom's absence, reported as the bridge shook more and more violently.

"Begin landing procedures," Chakotay instructed.

"Aye, sir."

From behind him he could hear Tuvok initiating the Blue Alert.

"Entering the lower atmosphere," Harry reported.

"I'm losing control of the helm, Commander."

"B'Elanna..."

"_I'm working on it_," came the instant reply over the still staticy comm channel.

"Grimes?"

"It's a little better, sir. Lowering landing struts now."

Chakotay's grip on the armrest loosed a fraction as the shaking eased to a dull vibration and the view on the forward screen showed land slowly getting closer.

"Landing struts secure," the relief conn officer reported as the bridge lurched once more.

Gradually the ship lowered and dipped until, with a resounding 'thud' that could be felt in the deck plating throughout the ship, _Voyager_ set down on solid land.

"Touch down complete," Grimes reported, his smile obvious in his relieved tone.

"Stand down Blue Alert. Harry, how are sensors?" The ensign looked up and Chakotay already knew the answer. He felt his stomach sink down to his toes in response.

"No better, Commander. In fact they might be worse."

"Worse? How can it be worse?" There were in fact probably hundreds of reason why it could be worse, but in his condition of declining hope he couldn't really believe it, let alone accept it. "What about communication?"

"Ship board communication is a mess, but it's working." The Operations Chief sighed and shook his head. "Still not getting anything from the away team though."

"Are you picking up anything?"

"Nothing from the shuttle or away team, debris or otherwise. Just before landing I was able to narrow down the dilithium source though. The sensors aren't picking it up now, but I still have the location from before. It should be within four to five kilometers east of our current location."

That should probably be good news, but considering they still had no idea about the away team's whereabouts it didn't do much to raise his spirits. "Could you approximate the location of where the away team landed if they did so as they were supposed to?"

"I have already done so. I have also approximated several trajectories the shuttle may have taken if they had crashed landed," Seven answered from the station behind the command chairs.

Chakotay nodded as he stood and made his way around to the upper landing. "Let's get to work."

* * *

><p>Kathryn ran through the woods, her heart pounding with each step that crunched against the twigs and leaves, as she followed the sounds of turmoil echoing loudly through the trees. Hundreds of possibilities as to what could be wrong with Yosa circled constantly though her mind until...<p>

She came to an abrupt stop.

As Tom rushed in behind her she held out an arm to keep him and the others from moving any further. There before them was a livid looking animal, easily twice the size of a targ with a mouth full of long sharp yellowing teeth. Each of its four legs had three equally long claws and its leathery tail alone looked heavy enough to knock the average humanoid clean off their feet with one swipe.

It was making puffing noises out of its snout and its dark brown eyes were narrowed in on the two men it had apparently decided it didn't like. Yosa was on the ground, leaning against a tree trunk, with his hand pressed against his side. Even from this distance Kathryn could see the blood seeping under his hand and knew it wasn't good. Sofin stood over the engineer with a large tree branch that must have fallen during the storm and was trying to keep the beast away.

It wasn't working.

The creature kept lunging and then backing up, using one of its front paws to make slashing motions towards the tree branch. Though bulky, the creature seemed extremely agile and quick on its feet. After another lunge from the animal Sofin looked up, his eyes wide, and silently pleaded for help.

Janeway didn't think twice.

With quick aim she fired the phaser...

And watched as the phaser fire barely left a mark on the creature's leathery hide. She tried again and, though it still didn't seem to wound the animal, the creature did turn in their direction this time. It was obviously more than a little irritated. She knew the feeling.

"Spread out," she ordered, giving Tom a light nudge towards the right while the other two went left.

As Tom, Jarvin, and Tal spread out into a circle the beast huffed more and more. Its eyes moved from one to another and she suddenly wished they'd been able to salvage more of the phasers. "Tom," she began, trying to keep eye contact with the creature in hopes it would make her its next interest and leave the others alone. "I want you to slowly and carefully get Yosa out of here while it's distracted."

"Captain..."

"Just do it, Lieutenant."

He nodded reluctantly and slowly started inching his way closer to the two men against the tree. As expected the minute Tom began to move the creature turned in his direction. Kathryn bent down and picked up the stick at her feet. With a forceful throw she hit the animal on the side, once again it barely seemed fazed, but it did turn back in her direction.

She stepped forward slightly, it lunged, she moved left, it followed and lunged before backing up again. Over and over the pattern continued like some sort of dance. A couple of times it lunged close enough that she could feel the air moving when it swiped it's clawed paw at her.

Meanwhile Tom finally made it to Yosa and between him and Sofin they got the man to his feet. With the first step towards freedom a pained cry tore past Yosa's throat though and the creature swiftly swiveled back in that direction. The three men stood absolutely still, the tree branch Sofin had been holding now gone in favor of helping to support Yosa.

"Hey, over here!" Jarvin yelled.

The creature turned sharply towards the new noise and made puffing noises in agitation.

"No, over here!"

It spun around towards Tal that time, but when the three men began moving back towards camp again it twisted around and, almost as if it realized their plan, started moving after them.

Kathryn fired the phaser again...and again...and again in quick procession until finally she picked up a rock and threw it. The angry animal ignored it all. She began running after it, not really sure what she'd do when she caught up, but knowing she had to try.

Celes beat her to it.

The young bojoran took a leap and jumped right onto the creature's back. The animal was surprised, or angry, or both at the same time. It started running in the opposite direction, back towards her and Jarvin, but passing the two of them who it now found meaningless. It bucked, it ran, it spun around and all the while Tal clung to it with a death grip.

After only a few seconds more the creature came to a sudden stop and tried to reach over his shoulder with its front paw to scrape the humanoid off its back. It didn't quite succeed, but didn't quite fail. One of its long claws slashed Tal's arm, eliciting a pained cry, and she let go reflexively.

As Tal slipped to the ground the beast spun around. Before it had a chance to fully recover Kathryn grabbed the tree branch Sofin had discarded. Jarvin, following her lead, grabbing another one and together they ran towards the creature, brandishing their makeshift weapons, and making sweeping motions. The animal seemingly gave up and ran away through the trees into a thicker part of foliage, its puffing noises slowly fading into the distance.

Janeway dropped the branch and moved over to Celes once she was sure the creature was gone. At first glance the wound on Tal's lower arm didn't seem too bad, but she wasn't about to stick around and examine it here. "Let's get back to camp before that thing becomes brave again," she said as she helped the younger women up. Tal's legs seemed a little shaky so she kept a hand on the girl's back as they all quickly moved back towards the shuttle.


	14. Chapter 14

Disclaimer: Still don't own the show or characters.

A/N: Will Yosa be alright? Here's the answer...

* * *

><p>Just as Kathryn, Tal, and Jarvin reached the campsite they heard Tom as he said, "Let's put him over there."<p>

Kathryn watched as Tom and Sofin eased Yosa down onto a pile of blankets while she attempted to get Celes to sit down. Celes wasn't having it though.

"Will he be alright, Captain?" Tal asked as she peered over at Yosa.

"Tom will take care of him." There was no doubt in her mind about that. Tom may not think of himself as a medic, but when it came right down to it he'd do everything possible to save a life. The question was how much Tom could do with so little supplies.

"Can I help?"

Kathryn pushed on Tal's shoulder a little more firmly and was glad when she finally sat down. "Let Jarvin take a look at your arm first." She gave the crewman standing nearby a nod and moved out of the way to go check on Yosa.

As soon as she knelt down next to Tom she could already see that there was a surplus of crimson blood soaking Yosa's undershirt and trickling down his side to the ground. He was losing too much too quickly. The wound itself looked deep and spanned over half the length of his side.

Tom was trying to use the dermal regenerator, even though they both knew it wasn't working, and wore the same focused expression as when he was fighting for control of the shuttle. Just as with the shuttle, Kathryn feared it was a losing battle.

The familiar feeling of eyes on her drew her attention from Yosa's wound to his face. Sure enough he was watching her through half-closed eyes. Only it wasn't an awkward gaze anymore. She gave him a small encouraging smile which he returned with a grimace.

"Hang in there," she said, using her uniform sleeve to dab at the moisture gathering on his forehead. "You're in good hands."

"That's not what I heard," he joked, giving Tom a light smile that ended with another grimace as the pilot gave up on the generator and tried to clean the wound with water and a piece of torn uniform.

"Hey! Watch it, Yosa," Tom took a moment to flash the injured crewman a crooked smile before turning his attention back to cleansing the wound.

Yosa chuckled softly, but it soon turned into a cough and the next thing she knew his eyes were sliding the rest of the way shut. She tensed as dread set in.

_No_.

_No, it couldn't happen_.

"Tom..."

"I'm going to need some bandages or…something..."

Kathryn looked around, but there were no bandages. No medkit. Nothing. Thinking quickly she unzipped her uniform jacket, used the small tear in her undershirt as a starting point, and tore off a couple strips to give to Tom. She watched him tear off some of his own undershirt and then started wrapping the material around the crewman's torso.

As he worked she placed two fingers to Yosa's neck, right over the pulse point. She only relaxed marginally upon feeling a faint throb against her fingers. He was alive for now. That was something at least.

"Is he going to be alright?"

Kathryn looked up to find Tal standing behind them and staring down at Yosa. She traded a look with Tom before answering, "We're going to do everything we can."

"I could use some more water," Tom said, as he finished wrapping up Yosa's injury and held up a blood stained hand.

"I'll get it." With one last glance at Yosa, Tal turned and headed over to their provisions pile. Jarvin followed, his limp more prominent now, to give her a hand.

Looking up Kathryn noticed Sofin staring blankly, but transfixed, at the wounded crewman. "Go ahead and start getting a fire stared, Sofin." He didn't move or acknowledge her in her any way. "Brian," she said a little louder in attempt to get his attention. It worked, but barely.

He looked up with a somewhat confused expression. "What?"

"Get a fire started. We don't want to get caught in the cold unprepared."

"It's still at least three hours before the sun goes down."

She simply stared at him with a look that promised immanent punishment if he didn't comply. He promptly replied with a slightly disgruntled, "Yes, ma'am," and stood to go do as he was ordered.

Once he was gone and the others still preoccupied as well she lowered her voice and addressed Tom. "How is he really?"

It'd been a long time since she'd seen Tom look so ominously serious. "It doesn't look all that great," he answered and sat back into a more comfortable position. "Without a dermal regenerator...It's too deep, Captain. And I think his lung may have been nicked. If we were on _Voyager_ it'd be an easy fix. He might be sore for a few days, but he'd be alright. Like this though I...," he trailed off and met her eyes and it wasn't hard to see his self-induced agitation and apology. "I don't think there's much I can do."

They broke eye contact as Tal and Jarvin came back. "Here's the water," Tal said, crouching down next to Tom to pour some of the water over his stained hands.

Jarvin limped around to sit on Yosa's other side and handed the Captain the last vial of pain killers they had. "It's all that's left," he said as she accepted the medicine.

Picking up the hypo, she exchanged the empty vial for the fresh and turned the empty vial over in her hand. It'd been almost completely full three days ago when they'd crashed. Between her head, Jarvin's leg, Tal's wrist, Tom's burns and now Yosa they'd used it up.

If she hadn't let Tom give her a dose so many times...

If she'd gone to get the firewood herself...

If she'd just kept them off this planet in the first place...

"I think he's waking up!"

Tal's exclamation broke her trance and as she looked down at the crewman she saw that Yosa really was waking up. She watched as he moistened his lips, his face scrunched up in pain, before a bout of coughing racked his body. Tom reached for the hypo in her hand while she put her free hand on Yosa's shoulder comfortingly. With a soft hiss the hypo was administered and his coughing subsided as the medicine took effect and eased his pain.

When the crewman's eyes opened his gaze flickered sluggishly from one person to the next. When his stare settled on Tal and then shifted to the now material wrapped wound on her arm he cracked a crooked grin of his own. "You're supposed to jump on my back, not a wild animal's," he said, his voice raspy.

"Oops? I guess it was just too hard to tell the two of you apart."

Yosa laughed which, as was the pattern, turned into a wet sounding cough. This time a little trickle of blood colored the corner of his lips. She and Tom shared another look as his chest constricted with each labored breath.

Yosa's eyes began to droop as his breathing slowed, the sheen of moisture on his forehead becoming more pronounced against his ashen skin. In that moment Kathryn didn't need to see the others' faces to know what she'd find. There was a solemn, painful, tension filled aurora around the gathered away team.

But there was no longer any awkwardness.

It was blatantly obvious there was only one way for this to end. Death. It practically hung in the air like a shadow cast by an invisible monster. Maybe this is where those stories of space monsters came from.

"I could really go for a grilled cheese right now," Yosa breathed out, his eyes sliding shut little by little.

Kathryn smiled softly and gave his shoulder a squeeze. It didn't keep him any more coherent though. "I'll see what Neelix can do when we get back to _Voyager_."

"Thanks, Cap...ain."

The simple, barely audible, sentiment sent a shot of pain through her chest as if he'd stabbed her with a fiery hot knife. Her hand tightened on his shoulder and she willed him to be alright. He had to be alright.

"You always are...," Another cough tore through his throat. "Are...looking out for us."

Yet another soul shattering pain shot through her chest. With each word he was tearing down her resolve. "All part of the job description, crewman," she replied, both trying to help everyone relax with some form of normalcy while simultaneously attempting to distance herself. Maybe it would hurt less then.

From experience she knew it wouldn't.

"No. I don't think so." His eyes opened a little more and even behind the glassy film over his eyes she could see the calm wisdom that came with age. The few sparse white hairs along his temple amongst his otherwise sandy brown hair suddenly stood out more than they ever had before.

His eyes were losing focus by the second as his gaze once more traveled over those assembled around him, almost as if he were trying to memorize each and every one of them. "Make sure Neelix knows...," he took a shuddering breath, his voice weakening along with his body. "It wasn't his cooking that did it."

From somewhere in the group Tal let out a semi-laugh that sounded suspiciously wet.

Kathryn's hand on his shoulder tightened until her knuckles turned white.

Sofin stood and walked away.

And with a last shuddering breath Yosa's eyes slid shut for the last time.


	15. Chapter 15

Disclaimer: Still don't own Star Trek. I'll be sure to let everyone know if I ever do.

A/N: Sorry for the wait!

* * *

><p>A dark cloud hung over the camp even as the sun shined high in the sky, its warm rays beating down on them through the trees as if mocking each and every one of them. Talking around the fire the night before had been limited to 'sorry' when Tal stepped on Sofin's foot and soft 'good nights' when it was time to turn in.<p>

No one dared go towards the back of the shuttle.

Jarvin had mentioned the desire to give Yosa a respectful send off on _Voyager_ amongst his friends. Kathryn had agreed and so the fallen crewman's lifeless body had been covered with a blanket and now rested in a place they'd managed to clear inside the shuttle. A single blanket had seemed an acceptable sacrifice for the occasion.

Kathryn attached her commbadge to her uniform again after yet another failed attempt to get it to function and then sat down next to Celes and Jarvin who were drawing pictures in the dirt with small twigs to keep themselves occupied. They didn't seem to be putting much thought into their squiggly lines though.

"Looks like an elephant," Jarvin said as he looked over at her drawing.

Tal frowned and looked up at him. "It's a terran cat." She tilted her head and looked a little closer. "I think."

Jarvin chuckled and went back to his own drawing. As Tal did the same Kathryn caught sight of the bandage on her arm. It happened to be the same arm as her injured wrist. At least it meant Tal still had one completely functional arm.

Tom had looked it over this morning and, though it was still a bit swollen, it was only a surface wound and should be just fine. Tal did have to flush it out with water a few times a day, but it seemed a small price to pay.

"What happened to your hand?"

Kathryn frowned as she looked over at Jarvin. She followed his curious gaze to where Sofin sat silently across from them. The former _Equinox_ crewman looked confused for a second until he looked down at his right hand which held his commbadge. Under the commbadge was a small scratch that stretched from the base of his middle finger to his wrist. It seemed as if the skin was barely broken, but it was definitely newer than the crash.

Sofin shrugged. "I cut it on the branch yesterday when I was trying to keep that..._thing_ away."

"Let me take a look," Kathryn said, standing and moving to sit next to him. She could have sworn he shifted away a little, but she tried not to put too much thought into it. When she took his hand in hers she definitely felt him tense though.

The cut wasn't bad. She doubted it hurt much at the time or afterwards for that matter considering all the adrenaline coursing through them all. It was her own protectiveness and need to assure their continued survival that had her checking it herself.

"If it starts hurting let our designated medic know," she said, flashing Tom a light smirk from where he was needlessly sorting firewood. "Otherwise it looks fine."

Sofin mumbled a, 'yes, ma'am', and went back to staring unseeingly at the scribbles being drawn in the dirt.

* * *

><p>The first twenty-four hours of searching manually had, at least for Chakotay and his team, been fruitless. He figured it was safe to assume none of the others had found the away team either considering the ship wasn't buzzing with talk or happy faces upon his return. B'Elanna had been waiting for him at the docking doors when he arrived and when she saw there were no missing crewmembers with him she apparently gave up on giving procedure a try.<p>

"Chakotay..."

"You need to stay and work on repairs, B'Elanna."

"Tom's out there. You know…Tom...my husband."

Chakotay sighed and stopped walking so he could turn towards the Chief Engineer. He understood all too well where B'Elanna was coming from and why she wanted to be included in the search teams. If he were in her place he'd demand the same thing. A perk of being the First Officer, and technically Acting Captain in Kathryn's absence, was that he was able to choose the teams and who went where and did what though.

He simply believed, as the Captain had before, that B'Elanna was needed more on _Voyager_. The repairs the ship needed weren't the standard fix. They needed the expertise and instincts that B'Elanna possessed. Besides which, they were already missing two senior officers and he simply didn't want to risk any more than was needed.

Only he, Tuvok, and Nicoletti were leading search teams. Himself because he couldn't_ not_ search for the away team and Tuvok because he was Chief of Security and well trained in this area. It made sense. Even Tuvok agreed it was logical. Not that the Vulcan was biased or anything.

"I know this is hard, but it's hard for all of us. I'd rather you stay here on_ Voyager_ and..."

That only seemed to make the half-Klingon even more irritable. "Don't give me that, Chakotay. I already let the Captain try the whole 'we need you to stay here' routine with me and look where it's gotten us. I should have been on that away team, but I went with the Captain's 'request' and now look where we are. I'm going out with the next search teams."

"The only thing I got out of that was that you seem to have some sort of misplaced guilt about all this..."

"Look who's talking." B'Elanna scoffed and rolled her eyes. "The king of misplaced guilt himself. Going to lecture me now too?"

Chakotay frowned. "What's that supposed to mean?"

B'Elanna gave him a look that clearly said 'are you really that stupid', but then averted her eyes and shook her head. "Forget it. Never mind. I _am_ going out the next time though."

Before Chakotay could press further his commbadge made an off key beep and came to life with a broken up static that seemed to be the norm lately.

"_Tuvok to Commander Chakotay_."

"Chakotay here. Go ahead, Tuvok."

"_We have returned and Gamma Team should be returning soon as well. I am already in the briefing room_."

In other words, 'what's taking so long' in the language of Tuvok. "Acknowledged, Tuvok. B'Elanna and I are on our way now," he added and closed the staticy commlink. Taking a step aside he gestured down the corridor. "After you."

B'Elanna shot him a glare before storming off down the corridor, leaving him to follow in her wake. When they arrived at the briefing room he followed her inside where the Doctor, Tuvok, Harry, and Seven were already standing there waiting.

Outside the viewport an engineering team could be seen down below heading back towards the docking doors for the day. What really got his attention though was the dented and dirt covered medkit on the conference table. As he suspected there were no signs of Kathryn, Tom, or the others in the room though.

"No luck I take it?" he asked, his eyes flickering back to the medkit.

"We did not locate the away team," Tuvok reiterated. "We did however find a fragment of the shuttle's hull plating along with this," he picked up the medkit and handed it to Chakotay, "not far away from the piece of hull plating. I believe it is safe to assume the medkit, and possibly other supplies we have not yet found, fell out of the shuttle due to damage to the shuttle and failed shields."

Chakotay turned the medkit over, studying it bit by bit. As far as he knew the shuttle had only been equipped with one medkit. The fact they obviously no longer had it was cause for concern. The fact that another piece of the shuttle had broken off was even more worrying.

"It's looking more and more like they may have been forced to crash land," he thought out loud. "Seven, now that we've found this can you pinpoint a more exact trajectory for their flight path?"

"I can narrow their course down, but there are still several trajectories."

"It's a start at least. More than we had to go off of before." He placed the medkit back on the table. "We'll resume searching first thing in the morning. Seven, be sure to get us those narrowed down flight paths by then."

"Yes, Commander."

"Everyone get some rest. We're going to need..." Once again he was interrupted by the off key beeping of his commbadge.

"_Gamma team to Commander Chakotay_."

He tapped his commbadge to open the channel. "Go ahead. Any luck Nicoletti?"

"_Not exactly. We didn't find the away team_."

He wasn't surprised.

"_We did find the mineral deposits though_."

He almost smiled at that small bit of good news. Almost. "That's great. Good work, Lieutenant. Could you tell how much dilithium there was?"

There was a bout of heavy static before the answer came. "_We couldn't pinpoint any dilithium. We managed to pick up readings from some polyferranide though along with all kinds of other minerals. The place is an engineer's dream come true_."

"Get cleaned up and then get the coordinates to Lieutenant Torres."

"_Aye, sir_."

Once the channel was closed he turned to the Chief Engineer. "You'll be leading an extraction team first thing in the morning, B'Elanna."

B'Elanna's jaw ticked in aggravation. "I told you, Chakotay, I'm going with the search teams."

"You're going to oversee the extraction and when you're done then we'll talk about it, but I plan on having recovered the away team by then. That's an order, Lieutenant," he added when she was about to argue.

She gave a terse nod in acknowledgement, but didn't say anything. The look of impending death she was giving him said everything she wasn't verbalizing though.

"Unless there's anything else...," he paused for any further complaints and when none came he continued, "Dismissed." As they all filtered out he picked up the medkit again and looked it over, hoping that wherever the away team was they weren't needing it.


	16. Chapter 16

Disclaimer: Not sure how this is even in question...

A/N: This is a short chapter, but it's a needed one.

* * *

><p>"Captain," Tom's voice penetrated her light and uneasy sleep. "Captain, we have another problem."<p>

Kathryn's eyes popped open and she pushed herself up into a sitting position. "What is it, Tom?"

It was still night out, but the full moon and the dying camp fire lit up their campsite enough for her to see without straining. It wasn't her turn for the night watch for another hour or so, that much she could tell.

"It's Celes," Tom answered. He stood and stepped back to give her more room to do so as well. "She has a fever."

Her head shot up to look at him as they carefully stepped over Jarvin who was muttering incoherently in his sleep. "What?"

Tom only gestured for her to crouch down with him next to the sleeping bajoran. As she did she noticed Tal had pulled her blanket up around her chin. That wasn't all that surprising. There was a nip in the air just like there was every night.

Tal's face was scrunched up in a way that spoke of pain though. Reaching over Kathryn gently placed a hand on the young woman's forehead. She was burning up. It was then she remembered how much Tal had been rubbing her arm the night before. She sincerely hoped her suspicion was wrong.

She pulled the blanket away, eliciting a moan of disapproval from the sleeping woman, and picked up the injured arm. Kathryn could already tell it was swollen more than it had been yesterday when she'd last seen it up close. Carefully she unwrapped the bandage, trying not to cause Tal any more pain. Sure enough, to her growing apprehension, the area surrounding the torn skin was red and puffy and the wound itself held all the signs of infection.

"We don't have a regenerator, medicine, or _anything_," Tom whispered, as he stared down at the wound.

"I know."

"We're going to have to get rescued really soon or..."

"I _know_." She closed her eyes and tried to fight down the growing irritation. Not at Tom or Celes, but at the whole situation and, most notably, at herself. "We're going to have to sterilize it," she added.

Tom gave her a sideways look. "Captain..."

"It's an old fashioned method, but fire can sterilize a wound."

"Just because it can doesn't mean it'll do any good in the long run."

"We're going to have to try, Lieutenant."

"Captain?" Tal's eyes fluttered open, a slightly glazed look in her eyes as she stared sleepily up at them. "What's wrong?" She closed her eyes and made a sound of discomfort. "I...I don't feel so good."

Kathryn wiped some of the sweat off Tal's forehead that was collecting along her hairline. "I know. You're going to be alright though, crewman." She tried to ignore the familiar ring of those words as memories of Yosa flashed through her mind's eye.

Could things get any worse?

As soon as the thought flashed through her mind a cold drop of water slid down her forehead and was followed by a loud echoing clap of thunder.

The universe itself really was mocking her.


	17. Chapter 17

Disclaimer: I don't own Star Trek: Voyager. I just borrow the characters once in awhile.

A/N: Two POVs in this one.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Sofin POV:<strong>_

Of all the things he could be called, a realist was definitely at least one of the titles on the list. The ability to see the realistic side of things instead of all the ridiculous and mostly useless things like delusions of hope and assumptions of rescue had aided him pretty well back on the _Equinox_. Sofin's pessimistic nature, as Marla had once called it, had allowed him to see that to survive they might have to break a few rules. Admittedly even he had been a bit hesitant to follow Captain Ransom's orders at first, but as the situation had become more dire he had adapted.

It was that nature, that_ ability_, which enabled him to know one thing for certain about the away team's current predicament. They were all going to die. He'd felt it since the moment the shuttle had hit turbulence. He had, mostly as a front for the others, held onto hope for as long as he could.

But then what happened to Crewman Yosa...

It haunted him in his sleep. What sleep he managed to get, that is. He remembered vividly Yosa's scream as the beast jumped out from behind a vine covered tree and slashed him with its long claws before the man had a chance to so much as comprehend what was happening. He heard that scream ringing in his ears even now.

Then there was the paranoia...

Every sound in the woods was that beast. Every shadow was a threat. He'd been so preoccupied thinking of the various ways they could die out here and so busy looking over his shoulder at every sound that he'd barely noticed the cut on his hand until Jarvin had pointed it out.

Not that such a minor little scratch was important. There were more important things to consider. Like survival. And survival wasn't looking like a very probable outcome right now.

Yosa was dead. Tal Celes was sick and would most likely die any day now as well. They had no more medicine. Their food was running out. There were dangerous animals in the forest that would kill them in an instant given the chance. Meanwhile Captain Janeway wanted them to keep hope alive like a candle burning in a window. A candle that would soon be blown out by the sheer reality of their situation.

The others couldn't believe her rubbish about a rescue coming for much longer. They simply couldn't. If they did than they were idiots. He wouldn't put it past them to follow her and her ideals to their deaths though.

He wouldn't. He wasn't about to give in to her calming voice or comforting words. She might be formidable, confident, and one tough captain, but even she couldn't fight off their impending fate for much longer. She and the others could go down with their hope still showing, but he was a realist. More than that, he was a survivor.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Janeway POV:<strong>_

The slash on Tal's arm was an angry red and the remnants of blood and pus that had oozed out only made it look all the more worse. She was brave though, Kathryn couldn't deny that. When presented with the idea of sticking a burning hot piece of chipped off console to her arm in an effort to cauterize the wound she had only hesitated a second before agreeing. She had even managed not to scream.

She had, however, drew blood from biting her lower lip and when the pain had become unbearable she'd turned her head and buried it in her captain's shoulder in what Kathryn was almost certain was an instinctive move. She doubted Tal Celes of all people would be comfortable enough around her captain to cry into her shoulder otherwise.

_Kathryn held the girl close, pushing her head a little further into her shoulder when she let out a muffled yelp as Tom pressed the red hot piece of shrapnel back to the wound once more. "It's almost over," she assured the younger woman quietly. Her own eyes slid closed for a moment and a muscle in her jaw ticked. "You're doing good, Tal." _

_"Just once more and we'll be done. I think," Tom added for softly, but paused before pressing the fire heated tip to Tal's arm. _

_She looked up at him and gave him a 'go ahead' nod as Tal's tears began to soak through her uniform. Tom didn't look any better than Tal did or than she probably did for that matter. His face was pale and it looked like there was a storm going on behind his eyes. A second later he pressed the heat to Tal's open wound. Celes tensed, but not a sound came out of her. A moment later she went limp in Kathryn's arms. _

_"Done," Tom said, his relief quite obvious. "Wasn't too bad, huh," he joked in an effort to lighten the mood. _

_Tal was already unconscious though. _

Roughly three hours later and Tal was still sleeping deeply. The wound was no longer bleeding or oozing, but it was still painfully swollen and red. She knew the infection wasn't gone. It was mostly likely only subdued temporarily. If a rescue came soon than she'd be alright.

The problem was Kathryn wasn't so sure a rescue _would_ be coming anymore. If it was too dangerous for _Voyager_ to get closer, if the sensors still weren't working, than they simply wouldn't be able to risk the lives of the entire crew just for the six members of the away team.

Five now, she reminded herself, Yosa was dead.

She couldn't blame those back on_ Voyager_ if they couldn't rescue them though. She couldn't condone risking so many lives for so few. She would, however, try to keep the away team's spirits up and their hope alive even if it was misplaced hope. They needed it, that light at the end of the tunnel, to survive. Without it they'd simply give up. It didn't matter if she believed it or not, only that they did.

It was becoming harder and harder to keep up the charade though. Their food supplies were running out, there were only four ration packs left, and it seemed the planet intended to kill them off one by one. And Yosa...

Yosa was dead.

And it was entirely her fault. What kind of captain was she if she couldn't protect even one single member of her crew?

"Captain?"

She nearly scoffed at the title. "Yes, Mr. Jarvin?"

Jarvin held out a handful of variously colored berries. "We found these by the stream just like you said. We're pretty sure they're safe to eat."

"Or least they're safe for the little fury squirrel like animal we saw eating them," Tom added as he came up to her with a blanket full of the assorted berries. He placed the blanket down next to their dwindling pile of ration packs and canisters of water. "We haven't tried them yet though and without a tricorder to make sure..."

She could at least do this for them. "Allow me," she said, cutting Tom off and picking one of the blue colored berries from Jarvin's hand.

Jarvin's eyes widened. "Captain, let me..."

She popped the berry into her mouth and carefully began to chew.

"...Do it," Jarvin finished as he watched her.

"Now you know how the senior staff feels," Tom told him and gave the crewman a pat on the shoulder.

Kathryn shot Tom a glare which he returned with a grin. A pretty forced grin by the looks of it. The berry was sweet, almost sickly so, but had an intriguing zing to it the longer it sat in her mouth. It was actually refreshing after eating ration packs for the last few days.

"Not bad," she said after swallowing. "And I'm not feeling any ill effects and I'm obviously not dead yet. So far so good. We'll give it a couple hours before we say if they're safe to eat or not though."

"That's encouraging," Tom muttered with an amused shake of his head. He knelt down next to Tal before she could glare at him anymore.

"Captain..."

She was beginning to wonder if Jarvin knew how to say anything else. "Yes?"

"What's Sofin doing," he asked as he stared curiously at the other team member who sat across the camp site near the shuttle with a rock in one hand and a long leafless tree limb in the other.

Kathryn glanced over as she knelt down next to Tom and Celes. "He's trying to make a weapon. A spear to be exact," she answered in a completely nonchalant tone. Tom glanced up at her with a raised eyebrow. "It was his idea. I figured it couldn't hurt."

"At least it's keeping him occupied. And out of our hair," Jarvin added, muttering the last part.

She heard none-the-less and arched a warning eyebrow in his direction.

"Sorry," he said, though he didn't sound the least bit apologetic. "I'll go see if he needs a hand I guess."

"I think that would be a very good idea, crewman." From beside her Tom chuckled as he inspected Tal's arm. "Something you find amusing, Lieutenant?"

"No, Captain, nothing at all."

"I don't believe you for an instant."

At that Tom laughed again. As if hearing the laughter had woken her up, Tal mumbled something under her breath and shifted tensely. Her face was scrunched up in pain again and when she opened her eyes they were glazed over. "Cap'ain?"

"It's me, Tal." She couldn't bring herself to even call herself a captain at the moment though.

The bajoran smiled, her eyes focusing and then clouding over again. "Am I better yet?"

"Not yet," she answered, wiping some sweat from Tal's forehead. It now seemed a familiar routine.

"You will be though. No worries," Tom added reassuringly.

Kathryn had to admit he was good. She almost believed him herself. "Just keep hanging in there, Celes."

Tal frowned as a look of confusion crossed her face. Her eyes seemed even more far away than before. "Am I in trouble, professor?"

'_It just had to get worse didn't it_?' Kathryn thought to herself upon realizing Celes was now hallucinating. If a day went by without a setback occurring she'd probably go into shock. She swallowed past the lump that had formed in her throat and made a point to smile lightly however. "You're not in trouble."

"I didn't mean to set the lab on fire, sir. It was an accident."

"It's ok. Just make sure you do a more thorough job next time and burn down the whole building, cadet," Tom replied. Kathryn raised an eyebrow at him to which he simply shrugged.

Tal, in her fever induced state, laughed shakily. "Okay, Admiral."

Kathryn pulled the blanket up around her. "Get some rest, crewman."

"Alright," she mumbled, but before her eyes completely slid shut she frowned and stared upwards. "Captain? Why does the sky look angry?"

"Probably because you set the lab on fire," Tom answered, amusement lacing his voice.

Kathryn followed Tal's stare to the sky though and nearly cursed under her breath. She nudged Tom to get his attention and when he too looked up and saw the dark clouds forming overhead he _did _curse under his breath.


	18. Chapter 18

Disclaimer: I don't own Voyager.

A/N: This is a very short chapter, but longer ones are coming.

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><p><em><strong>Chakotay POV:<strong>_

Nothing. Two days of searching and nothing. The crew were getting more and more disheartened. The knot that had taken up residence in his stomach for the last several days was now so tight that he couldn't get more than a spoonful of food down even when Tuvok pointed out that depriving himself of nutrients wouldn't do anyone any good.

He simply couldn't eat. He definitely couldn't sleep. He couldn't even look at the Captain's chair the few times he'd stopped by the bridge without his stomach churning. How much longer could they, could he, survive like this? With the not knowing and the anxiety growing each day?

The only good news, besides the mineral deposit find, was that Gamma team had found some more broken off pieces of the shuttle which now gave them an even narrower path to search. It was still several hundred kilometers of area, but it was once again more than they'd had.

The down side, and of course there was one, was that many of the possible simulations Seven came up with for the new data showed the shuttle crashing into the wall of mountains that laid roughly 164 kilometers to the east. If the shuttle had crashed into those mountains the chances were that it had been destroyed and the away team dead.

He took some small semblance of hope from the fact that according to Seven there were still three other possibilities that didn't involve the away team crashing into the mountains. The odds may not be in those possibilities' favor, but it was at least something for him to hold on to.


	19. Chapter 19

Disclaimer: Still don't own it.

A/N: Last update this time around. Hope you like it!

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><p>Another day had passed and Tal's fever had only gotten worse. Sometimes she was completely coherent, sometimes she slept for hours at a time, and sometimes her eyes took on a dazed look. At the moment she was sleeping. If it weren't for her irregular breathing patterns than she might have seemed fine. As it was each wheezy sounding breath the young woman took reminded Kathryn of how little time she had.<p>

At the rate things were going they all had little time left.

"Your dinner, mon Capitan."

The ration pack Tom presented her with was one of the last few. "Save it," she told him, turning her attention back to the inoperative commbadge she held. Not that constantly modifying the frequency was going to help any more than it had the last hundred times she had tried.

"Chakotay would use my head to decorate his quarters if he knew I stood by and let you starve to death."

"I'll make sure to note your protest in my log," she replied dryly without looking up.

Tom eased down next to her and simply sat in silence while Sofin walked by. Once the crewman was out of hearing range Tom broke the silence. "I still think you should take your own advice."

Kathryn looked up with a raised eyebrow. "Excuse me?"

"What you told Tal the other day. About being sorry for things that aren't your fault." The pilot shrugged nonchalantly, though this conversation was obviously anything but nonchalant, and Kathryn briefly wondered when he'd gotten so secure around her as to discuss this particular topic. "I think you should listen to your own wise words once in a while."

Kathryn didn't reply at first. She looked Tom over with a carefully guarded expression. He didn't really understand. He couldn't understand. It was a nice gesture though. "I'll have some berries," she finally said. "Save the ration pack for later."

"No can do, Captain," Tom answered with a shake of his head and his usual casual attitude back in place. "You know those few berries Jarvin got Tal to eat?"

She nodded in answer.

"Those were the last of our stash. We'll have to get some more. In the meantime..." He tossed the ration pack into her lap with a crooked smile.

She picked it up and tossed it back at him. "I'll take Sofin and get some more than."

Tom tossed the pack into her lap once again. "It'll be dark in a few hours and it's at least an hour hike to the stream. Plus after all that rain the forest is probably nothing but mud and muck. Nice try though."

Kathryn met Tom's eyes as she plucked the ration pack form her lap, but this time she tossed it towards the supplies pile. "I'll be fine, Mr. Paris. I'm not hungry."

"Yeah. Right."

Sofin chose that moment to rejoin them. He plopped down a few feet away, as he always did, and turned his attention to his commbadge as they all had the habit of doing. Kathryn herself looked up just in time to see Tom staring intently at the crewman's hands.

"Hey, Sofin...," Tom began, still staring at the other man's hands. "What happened to your hand?"

Sofin sighed in annoyance, apparently tired of being asked that. "I cut it."

"I know," Tom quickly quipped. "That's my point."

Kathryn followed Tom's intense look and instantly saw what he meant. "Hold up your hand." When Sofin switched the commbadge to his other hand and held it up she stood and moved over to take a closer look. Sure enough the cut was gone. A thin pale line was the only evidence that there had been a scratch. Even the redness that had accumulated over the last couple days had subsided greatly to a light pink.

The scratch may not have been very deep to begin with, but it generally took a human's skin longer to repair itself when untreated than it had with Sofin. "Did you notice when this healed over, Sofin?"

Sofin was looking at his hand as if just noticing it himself. "I don't know. It had to have been recently though."

"Have you done anything to it?" Tom asked as he too came over to take a look.

"No. I haven't done anything to it." A thoughtful look crossed his face as he tried to remember. "I got some sap on it, but..."

"Sap?" Kathryn asked, her curiosity peaked. Sap had been known to act as a wound sealant and in some cultures she'd come across they used certain types for medicinal applications. If there was a sap on this planet that held those sorts of properties than they might be able to use it to help Tal.

Tom seemed to have the same idea. "Sap from what?"

"When I was making the spear," the crewman answered, picking up the weapon he seemed to constantly carry around. "As I was pulling off the leaves sap leaked out," he explained, pointing to the tiny holes along the wood apparently left by removing the leaves. "Some of it got on my hands."

Kathryn caught Tom's eye and the two shared a look as they silently communicated. "Where did you get that tree branch?"

"It was sticking out from under the shuttle."

She took the spear in her hands causing Sofin to tense, but she continued to study the piece of tree limb. It was pretty smooth, as far as trees went, and had a dark crimson tent to it that got darker around the small holes where the leaves had been removed. It had a distinctive smell as well. Almost like almonds mixed with ground leola root.

"We'll need to look for some more of this," she said, noting how there didn't seem to be any more sap left in this sample. They would probably need a lot of it too. The amount Sofin got on his hands might have healed his small scratch, but for something the size and depth of Tal's injury they were going to need a good sized amount.

"What's the point?"

Kathryn looked up at him, but Tom answered first. "The sap might have a variant of antibiotics in it. It could help fight Tal's infection."

"_Help_ is the main word there. What's the point going gallivanting around the forest and risking running into more creatures which will only get more of us killed. Then who'd be here to help her anyway?"

"It's worth a try, crewman," she answered, her gaze cool and hard as she met his eyes. He promptly looked away. "And it's worth the risk."

_'At least it's worth my risking it_', she thought to herself.

"We may not even have to risk anything," Tom pointed out. "Maybe there's more of it just around camp."

"I don't remember seeing anything like it around here when I was searching for something sturdy enough for the spear."

Kathryn stood and handed the spear to Tom for him to take a look. "We might as well give it a try."


	20. Chapter 20

Disclaimer: I absolutely do not own Star Trek: Voyager.  
>AN: My apologies once again for the wait! Thanks everyone for reading!

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><p>Tom's estimation had been correct. Just over two hours after they'd began searching for the same type of tree which had the medicinal sap the sun had gone down. It wasn't safe to wonder around the woods at night. Sofin had seemed especially jumpy at the thought.<p>

So they'd started a fire and settled in for the night without finding anything even remotely similar to Sofin's tree. They'd searched the area around the shuttle as well as the surrounding forest of their camp site. The only thing they'd found was a mere twig that had contained no more than a drop or two of the sap, not even enough to say they found anything. It somehow fit with her luck recently.

Tom had put the meager drop of sap they'd managed to find over a small portion of the burn on his neck as a test. An hour later and Kathryn could already tell that it was helping take away some of the redness. There was no doubt the sap worked. The trick was just finding enough of it.

And soon.

Tal was getting progressively worse. She was fortunately sleeping through most it, but Kathryn wasn't sure if she found that reassuring or not. Sofin was right though. Gallivanting around in the woods wasn't safe. The fact that Yosa was now laying lifeless inside the shuttle was proof enough of that.

She couldn't...she _wouldn't_...order them to risk any more than they already had. She wouldn't even _ask _them to. No, this was something for a captain to handle. Admiral Paris had once told her that being a Starfleet captain was one of the greatest responsibilities she would ever have. He had been right. And as the captain responsible for so many people, and for so many mistakes, it was her duty to go and do what it was too dangerous for them to do.

She knew more or less how Tom thought though. She knew he would try to stop her. Just like with the ration pack, when he was trying needlessly to look out for her, or when he and others nearly mutinied in an effort to keep her from staying in the starless void.

The more she thought about it, the more she realized just how many times members of her senior staff had disobeyed a direct order to the point of near mutiny. Only once had they actually been forced against their will to do so. That alone should say something about what they thought of her leadership. She should have realized that long ago.

She was going to go and find a cure for Tal, she would do so alone, and she would go as soon as everyone was asleep. It might take a while seeing as how Tom was already glancing her way every few minutes with a slightly suspicious look in his eyes. It was for the best though. He and the others didn't need to risk their lives. Only she did.

The camp site was quiet, as it had been for over an hour now, when she stood. "Let's get some rest," she said, patting Jarvin on the shoulder to get his attention as she walked by. "We're going to have an early start in the morning so we should get some sleep. Sofin," she began, waiting until he looked up before continuing. "You'll take first watch."

He seemed uncertain for a moment as his eyes darted towards the tree line, but after a second's thought he nodded silently in acknowledgement.

Good. Of all of them Sofin seemed as though he would be the most willing to let her go without making a fuss. She had the distinct impression he wasn't all that fond of her, which would come in handy for the situation.

She followed as Tom and Jarvin piled under the low hanging shelter as best they could with Tal already asleep underneath. She laid down, making sure to lay next to Tal instead of Tom so the pilot wouldn't so easily notice her absence.

Kathryn closed her eyes, but made herself stay awake. She was tired, and she was hungry as well not that she would tell Tom that, but she had to stay awake and only appear sleeping. She could feel Tom's eyes on her from where he lay on Tal's other side. She turned onto her side so her back was towards him and made a show of pulling the blanket around her tighter.

A few minutes passed as she kept herself awake by listening to the insects making their nightly sounds and listened to the wind blow through the trees all around them. Eventually the feeling of eyes watching her every move ceased. She waited a few more minutes to make sure and then carefully turned over to take a look.

Sure enough Tom had his eyes closed and was breathing heavily as he slept. Considering the position he was in she figured he'd fallen asleep while trying to keep an eye on her. Fortunately he was over-tired from the last few days and with the decreasing amount of food he was probably low on energy as well. Which was all the more reason for her to go find the sap and let them get the rest they needed.

Carefully, being sure not to nudge Tal or make too much noise, she sat up. Jarvin was fast asleep as well on the other side of Tom. She slowly stood, suddenly thankful for the shadow the three were casting so Sofin didn't notice her movements.

Not that Sofin would notice anyway. His back was turned in her direction and it looked like he was fiddling with his commbadge again. Since the coast was clear she quietly ducked further into the forest and started making her way deeper and in the general direction of the stream. With the moon full and the clouds now gone there was just enough light shining through the trees overhead to light her way and help her see the various trees.

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><p>Kathryn had been walking roughly forty minutes or so when she found them. It was the unusual smell of almonds and leola root that she noticed first. Her heart skipped a beat for a moment as she followed her nose. She wasn't sure if it was the same tree at first, but upon closer inspection she could see the shades of crimson and could feel the distinctive smoothness.<p>

There were three of them, clustered close together almost as if growing from the same root system, and there were no other similar ones anywhere else in the vicinity. That explained why they hadn't been able to find any more back at the camp side. If they did only grow close together like this then the shuttle had probably crushed all of them when it crashed.

She used a nearby rock to help break off several limbs and once she had a good armful she was ready to return to the campsite. She was actually feeling better than she had in what seemed like months as she carried the rather heavy pile back in the direction she'd come.

Theoretically she should be able to return with the medicinal sap before anyone noticed she was gone. In the morning they would harvest the branches and administer the sap which would then, hopefully, help Celes fight off the infection long enough for rescue to come. At the moment she was even feeling more optimistic about the rescue.

All it took was one step with her sock covered foot to bring it all crashing down.

In the sparsely illuminated darkness she didn't see the ravine. The patch of muddy ground was muddier than she had been expecting. Her bootless foot slipped, sinking deeper into the mud, and the next thing she knew she was falling down a steep slope.

Her last thought, when she finally stopped falling and her world began to go dark, was that her luck really had run out long ago. By the time a pair of hands hooked under her arms and began dragging her down the dried up ravine she was already unconscious.


End file.
